Monday, January 28, 2008

The best serial ever

Schmidt: Hello
Piper: hello
Schmidt: is there a reason why you're snuggled up to me?
Piper: well yes, I understand you're the boss, dear. I'm sucking up
Schmidt: by standing next to me?
Piper: yes. With me by your side, you almost look young.
Schmidt: I have no idea who you are but I like you

Grinning Goat at 1/28/2008 11:35:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

I love Denny Crane

Shirley Schmidt: come on denny, we go way back...
Denny Crane: You left me, Shirley. Women don't leave Denny Crane. And for a secretary.
Shirley Schmidt: it was the secretary of defense
Denny Crane: doesn't matter. I have an image. One can even say I'm all image
Shirley Schmidt: one could

Gosh I love DENNY CRANE.

Grinning Goat at 1/28/2008 10:06:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Saturday, January 26, 2008

The look

I was asked about my take on euthanasia. It was something I have thought about in passing but it wasn't something I have prepared an answer for. Or at least I haven't thought about it in a politically correct way.

I am actually for abortion. But that is a hard stance to be in; it's a harsher side of the fence. It's a lot easier to argue against abortion. And I proved this once. I asked my student about her opinion on abortion, and it turned out she was a pro; just like me. I played the devil's advocate. I could see her struggle to come up with a counterargument for a lot of things and I could imagine myself struggling if I were put in her position.

For example, how do you respond to, "Kids ought not pay for their parents' mistake"?
I think there is no good way to rebut that. In fact, there's no good way to rebut a lot of things because in the end I suppose people have to admit that life is worth something. Because while we may not like ourselves we actually wish ourselves well; that's why we don't see people jumping off the roof at all hours.

I don't particularly like myself (in fact, it seems like the more you know yourself the more flaws you see there are) but I do wish myself well. I wish that I have a good life, a good education, a good future although I am not necessarily a great person. There is a religious teaching that advocates this. That we don't have to like everybody (this is impossible anyway so why bother trying?) but we have to wish them well. And I think that's a continence of difference - liking someone and wishing him well. And the latter while noble is also a lot more realistic and not beyond the league of homo sapient what with all their flaws that we fondly call the 'human nature'. That is to say, it is achievable.

But while life is important, I think that what the higher beings have in mind for something higher up the hierarchy is freedom of choice. C.S Lewis argued it this way (and his arguments stick to mind; they form the basis of my answer then):
If we don't have free will, we won't commit a sin. We'll be the perfect human. But rather than opting to create the perfect human, God risks our blunder. We are given free will and in so doing we become liabilities. We can do whatever we want. We are free to sin. He makes it our choice whether to sin or not.

Free will over a faultless life.

To commit suicide in here is a crime the last time I checked. And I suppose some people see that as a sin? But sin or not, I think that in life, the freedom of choice is important. Without free will does life still worth the value it has? We need to respect people's wishes. If they want to die, I say let them so long as they harm nobody else. I am for euthanasia (NOT suicide, there's a difference and if you can't tell what it is, don't bother reading this post; you should go back to school).

I am for euthanasia. I told him so.
And that was when he gave me the look.

Grinning Goat at 1/26/2008 02:29:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

When I embrace the word forever

I can't wait to graduate and get out of this place.

Grinning Goat at 1/22/2008 11:06:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

In too deep

I need vonka. I need a session of philosophical musings with her.

Grinning Goat at 1/22/2008 12:36:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Saturday, January 19, 2008

I think I should be in this line of work

R: don't worry it'll be better weekends without him
Kiwi: why
R: because from your description of yr weekends with him, it sounds boring. So you can fall nowhere but up
Kiwi: thanks ross, anything you say to condemn him will cheer me up
R: oh there's a lot and you don't have to thank me for this because I'm just saying it as it is

R: he sleeps around at home all the time (although I do this to, but he sounds like a BUM and you don't wanna have a bum as a boyfriend; you can have a bum as a friend though)
Kiwi: hahaha trying to save your own ass ah
R: and he's not even HANDSOME
Kiwi: aye that's a very good point
R: diver. How good is the prospect of a diver? is he even in the NAVY?
Kiwi: ya he's in the navy
R: well then he may just DIE on duty. You don't wanna marry someone like that
Kiwi: hauahahahahaaa
R: Oh and besides he's not a very good one at that. What with yr spit helps to clear the fog? That's clearly a lie
Kiwi: I don't understand your last point man
R: you said he's the one who taught you that spits helps to clear the fogs in yr goggles. Well, IT DOESN'T WORK
Kiwi: so that's another point why I shouldn't be with him? because he didn't help you clear the fog in your goggles?
R: it's ok if he can't clear the fog in my goggles but he shouldn't LIE and give false hopes

Kiwi: everytime he pops into my head then I can go read yr blog. The part where you badmouth him
R: where WE badmouth him, you mean? I don't bear the sin alone
Kiwi: hahaha you did most of the badmouthing, I merely agreed
R: well, you LIKE IT

And I can tell that she does.

Grinning Goat at 1/19/2008 05:49:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Pein pein pein

Pein: (nudge)
R: well well well if it isn't pein
Pein: it's not. Who are you?
R: hauahhaaha asshole

Grinning Goat at 1/17/2008 08:27:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Taboo

What this game thrives on is, I think stereotypes.

On the word "Al Gore", cheryl (I'm not sure what words she's not allowed to say, but I think 'president' and 'united states' were definitely one of those) said "the enemy of Bush". When I found out what the answer was, it was ironic because a lot of people don't like Bush. We'll have to go down a long list to get to the answer, if we get to the answer at all because surely Al Gore is a rather charitable man compared to some people. Remember the Axis of evil? Remember that? And not to mention Al-Qaeda.

On the word pretzel, I said, "this is what Bush choked on"

On the word "squeak" (okay I have to backtrack and explain a bit. We had this coursemate whose tone of voice is of the soprano 3 grade so we called her squeaky mouse. To be honest I only remember the mouse part of it), cheryl described that person. And to that, Ivon answered, "selvina"

I found it hilarious. Why would Selvina be on the card?

Come to think of it, we named a lot of people.

There's of course the Squeaky Mouse. Then there's Rashes. Bird's nest. The File Girl (to whom I made a rather close acquaintance recently and I had a hard time erasing the image of a file from my mind).

The T.A
BH
Wang Fei Hong
Voldemort

I think if I cross-reference my list to theirs, it'll come up short, by a lot of names.

Anyway, that game isn't for the slow. You should take my view on this.

Grinning Goat at 1/16/2008 11:03:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Figure-hugging black

The way they inventory my wardrobe like they know its whole content in chronological order is giving me the shivers.

Grinning Goat at 1/16/2008 12:15:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Saturday, January 12, 2008

When all the nonsense in the world can save you

Looking at our glove-powdered hands (which under normal circumstances annoys me because I think I inhale excessive amounts of powder on a daily basis than is healthy for my nose), Regina said, "Look Ross, this works better than Olay"

And I just couldn't stop laughing after that.

THIS is what I love about lab.

The entertainment it provides me.

Grinning Goat at 1/12/2008 04:09:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Tis not

"Until the summer of 1962, I felt that I couldn't wait to grow up and be treated with the kind of respect I imagined adults were routinely offered and adamantly thought they deserved - I couldn't wallow in the freedom and the privileges I imagined grown-ups enjoyed"

That's exactly what it feels like to be a kid. And yet once you start growing up, you don't want to grow up anymore. You want to go on being kids. Well, at least I want to go on being kids.

Being kids for the rest of our lives is a perfectly honorable aspiration.

Grinning Goat at 1/10/2008 12:07:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Wowwww

Wowww I just found out there's an Owen Meany song by this (obscure) band called Lagwagon. The lyrics are pretty much in keeping with the spirit of the book. Interesting.

Oh and if you look for the lyrics online it's full of grammatical errors. Here are the corrected version (I just can't help myself).

Uncertainty
A foundation built on nothing I could see
Secure in your immaculate perception
The last resort I thought I'd ever exercise
Now, all that I have to stand on
Grieving from a different point of view
I learned its meaning from you
In life and death
And continue

But faith is just a
Silent tribute
Mine is just a desperate act
Give him back

I owe him
Throw me a line, I'll suspend
My disbelief
And concede
Following your lead
Faithfully
Led into this concession with hope and doubt
A seemingly futile gesture

My faith is just a silent tribute
This is just a desperate act
Holding on
It's just this desperation that
Takes me home


Grinning Goat at 1/09/2008 11:59:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Noobers at Yahoopool

Pein: accept
R: I don't get the invitation.
R: ok now what?
Pein: sit
R: there is no sit button
Pein: you see my name, next to it
R: you're Brian???
Pein: yea, one of my many rare Ids
Pein: oo what happened?
R: I don't know. I just sat
Pein: now start, click start game
R: there's no start game button
Pein: next to my face, start game, stand up, public, invite, boot
R: what what what?
Pein: click start game. Below POOL
R: OH
Pein: you noob
R: oh, my pop up blocked it the windows don't appear
Pein: oh no wonder

Grinning Goat at 1/09/2008 11:08:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

The comfort of constancy

I counted cells. Yes, I counted many of them. Enough to make my ancestors proud if I am a descendant of a family of accountants.

While I was counting cells today and about to go bleary eyed, Chikuen came and said, "the click-click-ing [of my cell counter, ok it's either my cell counter or my pipette I'm not sure which she referred to] is so comforting. A constant clicking"

This reminded me of something I told my friend once. I told her that her constant presence on msn is so comforting. Apparently she found that an odd thing for me to say because she asked me if I was okay.

I think my mood might have been a little foul then but there was nothing the matter with me. I did find her constant presence comforting. She always came up with this witty and sometimes sensual (or even scandalous) phrases beneath her msn nick and I would take a jab at it. And I would be wrong (I'm never right). That's how it's always been. Okay, today she's just "bah". So I said, "come on... be optimistic. Try HOORAY".

It's like the whole world may turn upside down and there she will be on my msn, reproaching this poet or that for being totally incomprehensible every once in a while when she's not in the mood for something scandalous. A comforting constant presence.

There is another friend of mine who is always online too. But we hardly talk to each other. And after she passed away, she is STILL ONLINE on my msn. Well, I suppose this kind of constant presence isn't so comforting.

Anyway.

I called Dr.Lim Mr.Lim today. Gosh.
My skull must be so thick.

I always stutter when talking to her (so this Mr.Lim nonsense is clearly not helping). I find the words caught in my throat. It's like every words carry a weight; like I am liable to them all once they are spoken out loud (obviously I'm liable for everything I say to anyone but the words are particularly sensitive to gravity; they are heavier in front of her. Or maybe they're heavier when they are about Ki67 or P53 or large B cell lymphoma)

This never happens. At least not when I rant about things. Maybe I'm not passionate enough about science. Maybe that's why. This is what worries me.

Grinning Goat at 1/09/2008 08:43:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Avenged Sevenfold's Dear God

The last time I had a song in my head it was the How much is that doggy in the window song, which is utterly ridiculous and catchy in an annoyingly unforgettable way. So it was a relief that the song I carried in my head today was Avenged Sevenfold's Dear God. Which is a lot more WORTHY to carry around in your head for the whole day.

Anyway.

I like being a child.

When you are a child, everything looks possible.

You can be a truck driver. A doctor. A teacher. A peddler. A pirate. A grocer (I actually liked selling vegetables, can you imagine that?). A ballet dancer (ok I was pretty traumatised with the ballet lesson so this was clearly out). A world-class ice skater (it was mostly my sisters'. They used to pretend to go on some kind of a world tour and that used to annoy the hell out of me because I didn't get to go on their world tour because I refused to be an ice skater).

A fisherman.

A detective.

A martial art champion.

I was a magician even.

But those are dreams and they are without consequences. Do you think that when I thought about being a truck driver I would think about financial security? OR when I wanted to become a pirate I worried about getting caught and drowning in the sea?

A child has every excuse in the world as to why they are not what they want to be.
It's because they are not old enough. Not because they are incompetent. Or insufficient. The world is a friendlier place that way. Everything looks possible. And everything looks possible because although things look hard, you know that they just look that way because you aren't old enough to understand. There's this backwater. A security net at the back of your head that you're not stupid. You just haven't learnt it yet.

Obviously things can look hard when you have not learnt it yet. But some things you still find hard even after you get to know it because you don't understand. Whether things are hard because of lack of exposure or because of your insufficiency make all the difference in the world.

Adults have no such excuse. And it's depressing for a lot of reasons.

It's depressing when you have dreamed to make it big in life as a child only to discover later on that you are actually pretty ordinary. It's depressing that being a pirate is out of the question. That being a truck driver has no prospect for advancement (because, what kind of an advancement are you talking about, driving a bigger truck??).

That being a world class ice skater is possible. Except that you can't even roller skate.

That being a taxi driver is going to give you a decent life. If your spouse works and you don't have a child. or a mother in law to support.

That being a lawyer is fantastic. If you're smart enough to go to law school and not flunk the bar.

But sometimes people do flunk the bar. They have mother in law to support. And they want a child. And they can't roller skate. And they don't want to drive an 18-wheeler for life.

Can they fall back to the old excuse that oh it's okay that things are rotten now because you have some growing up to do? That once you do, things are not gonna be so rotten.

Because you can be whatever you want to be.

Grinning Goat at 1/08/2008 09:00:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Friday, January 04, 2008

The melancholic side of Avenged sevenfold

I like it a whole lot. And I think the band name is fantastic.

Avenged sevenfold. It gives such a satisfying ring to it. Revenge as a dish best served not only cold but also repeatedly.

A gallon of frozen cow dung.

Then a heap of chicken droppings.

Rotten maggots.

Puffer fish sting (this is the trickiest because it's disguised in a pretty AND tasty fish meat; this is like a backstab to an unknown enemy - the most cowardly sort) But while that might score big in the treachery department, the cruelest is still verbal abuse because while toxin clears as you rot away, words are remembered and carved in a conscious mind. Especially the bad ones.

Botulinum toxin.

Atomic bomb.

Etc.

I miss listening to their songs while I'm away. The lyrics aren't great (they're never great) but I love the tunes. And anyway I hardly listen to song lyrics anyway; some people say I'm missing half the song. They're probably right.

Hongkong is TERRIFIC. But I'll save the story for later. It has to be told right.

Grinning Goat at 1/04/2008 12:26:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}