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Friday, March 31, 2006 Drops of Jupiter Now that she's back in the atmosphere With drops of jupiter in her hair, hey, hey She acts like summer and walks like rain Reminds me that there's time to change, hey, hey Since the return from her stay on the moon She listens like spring and she talks like june, hey, hey Tell me did you sail across the sun Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded And that heaven is overrated Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star One without a permanent scar And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there Now that she's back from that soul vacation Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey She checks out mozart while she does tae-bo Reminds me that there's room to grow, hey, hey Now that she's back in the atmosphere I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ol' jane Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day And head back to the milky way And tell me, did venus blow your mind Was it everything you wanted to find And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone Conversation The best soy latte that you ever had ... and me Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day And head back toward the milky way Grinning Goat at 3/31/2006 10:38:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Sobering I want to quote someone, "it should be a sobering thought to you that within every cell there is something there waiting to kill you" To know that we're all a ticking bomb of walking carbon, it's a sobbering thought indeed. Cascade of caspases are poised to kill the cell. "At time of birth, we're already programmed to die" You know learning all this makes me feel very optimistic. The suicide machinery is in place at all times. All that is needed is a trigger to activate it. Just light the fuse boys. Just light the fuse. Grinning Goat at 3/31/2006 05:44:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Sheeesh This is probably why I never did write stories. Because it'll turn out to be like that. Grinning Goat at 3/31/2006 05:19:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Heaven has to wait by P.BoroE I looked at him and knew that he wasn't quite like any other man. There's something hollow in his eyes. Sometimes he sat with me but mostly what I knew was from the whispers of the nurses there. One can only wonder how a word can get around so fast. Sometimes I think words are riding on a jet plane. I couldn't get in so I looked at them through the window. The hospital was modern in its own way, the wall pristine white except for some cracks near the side. But ever since people got too busy to stop and smell the flower, they got too busy to notice the cracks too. He would come everyday at the same time, carrying his book and ipod. It's like a silent ritual. The florist used to frown whenever he passed by, she thought what kind of a man visits someone in a hospital without carrying at least a bouquet of flower. These breed of people, they are bad for business. Well she always frowned, never mind that he passed by everyday and people told her frowning too many times a week made women look older faster. That was until she found out that he was allergic to pollen. He would sit down next to her singing this song with an ipod plugged to his ear. To help with his pitching problem, he told one of the nurses when she looked at him questioningly. The nurse thought he might as well give her the earphone but sincerity is sincerity and a poor guy like him needs his own break. Well, who doesn't when the one you sing to would probably never wake up? So the nurses left him alone. Sometimes he talked to her. But most of the time he was just recalling things. For one thing she used to wonder how someone pitch-blind like him could run a CD shop and he would get on with this highly convoluted story in answering this question until nobody really knew why he did end up running a CD shop. Making someone a CD was always a serious business to him. He could spend all week arranging the things he should put in, right down to the very order of the songs. All she asked was this one song but he thought nothing without Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra was perfect. He reached track 19 when he was about to add her song but then New York New York hadn't made it in, so her song had to go. I think she probably thank God silently he was burning her CD in audio format or she would probably have Sinatra and King Cole's whole album in her posession. Somehing very far from Rachel Stevens, which was something she wanted and was about to get in the first place. Well, before New York New York came into the picture anyway. There was this movie she liked that she watched over and over. But she was never a book person so once she read a book she would never read it the second time. The suspense is lost, she used to say. Of course he wondered why the suspense wasn't lost on the movie. Something a guy would never understand he supposed. Like a bunch of other things a guy wouldn't. Like why coming late is more alright than coming with a handbag or why a guy running alone in the rain looks better to a female than walking under an umbrella and remaining perfectly dry. Come to think of it, he couldn't even figure out why Rachel Steven's better than Frank Sinatra. He discovered after the accident that this movie she kept watching was actually based on a book. The old lady at the bookstore seemed particularly pleased when he came around asking for that book. Ah I thought all hope was lost. Why?, he queried wondering if this book was written by a feminist and if he just betrayed his own gender. You don't read Tom Clancy? No, actually not really. Why? Puzzling, what does Tom Clancy have anything to do with anything? He was about to add that he read Sinatra's biography in case somehow this information would please her even more so maybe he could get a discount or something, when the old lady handed him the book. I wondered what is it with men and those books What books? The likes of Tom Clancy You don't like Tom Clancy? Would you like Judith Gould? Ah God no why? That's why I never touch Clancy's book. He paid for his book then left. Without really knowing why she never touched Clancy's book of course. Must be something about booksellers and their biasness. So he read that book to her everyday. Not more than one page per day. Because she was not supposed to read a book twice and he wouldn't know what to do once he was done with this book. He forgot to ask the lady if this book came in sequels. He sat with me again tnat day looking particularly downcast. Her internal organs were failing. And he had yet to apologise. He didn't sit for long because he wanted to come home and make a CD. No Frank or Nat this time. Just Rachel. He looked at the title for the first time. Heaven has to wait. How corny can the title of a song get? The manner in which they walked was brisk and when they talked, it was devoid of all emotion. The irony of it all. He knew that she would probably be pleased by them because she always told him that doctors are supposed to be emotionally detached from their patients. It's called being professional, she told him. Now where does this professionalism get you? he thought. He was being left all alone and all they could say was that it was time. It was time, never mind that there were words left unsaid and unheard. That day was the only day he read more than one page. He didn't want her leaving without reaching the ending. I was outside looking in when they pushed the gurney out. He was rooted to the ground staring at his book. Acknowldgement I thank my editor and publisher for their wonderful support and the trust they showed me. I would also like to thank my late husband. Wherever you might be right know, if you read this, know that you're forgiven. Of course I didn't read that. The nurse found him staring into empty space with that book open and words got around. Like how they always do. They are going to fell me tomorrow. They said my roots were causing those cracks at the hospital wall. Well I guess somebody noticed those cracks after all. I've lived long enough, seen people come and go. Besides, an environmentalist can't save all the trees in the world. Saving stray dogs from being put to sleep was busying enough. Grinning Goat at 3/31/2006 03:15:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Thursday, March 30, 2006 One of those perks of watching a webcast Do you know how those oral contraceptive pills they sell at the counter work? In the words of my lecturer, "We prevent pregnancy by fooling the body into treating itself as being pregnant so it won't get pregnant again" See this can be rephrased in many different ways. "Pregnancy is prevented by simulating the condition of pregnancy in an unpregnant woman" But why should it? His explanation is simple. Easily understood. And it's a hell of a lot funnier. I was just wondering that if I fool myself into thinking that I've failed a module that maybe then I won't fail. Grinning Goat at 3/30/2006 12:02:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Wednesday, March 29, 2006 The friend of my enemy is a friend of mine No, actually the quote of the day was "Your enemy is my enemy" =) Which I think is a brighter outlook than "the friend of my enemy is my friend". See there were 4 ladies running amok in town just now. Fully equipped with baloons that were sagging (because see, they don't really supply helium at the ToyRus) oh and the public must have suspected them to be some kids from some neighbourhood secondary school because there's this someone who brought a pink file with her. An eye witness recounted seeing a small kid running to his mother crying because he wasn't allowed to touch the baloons held by this jiejie (that seems too old to be having anything to do with Winnie the Pooh Baloons -ones that weren't filled with helium at that)and was told the reason for this is that "the baloons burst easily". The eye witness said that she remembered the incident because the lady with the baloons had this really prominent Afro-style hairdo. Incidentally, another eye witness also seemed to have seen this lady. She was accompanied by another lady. They both seemed to be walking in search of something but nobody really knew what at that time. See, because they weren't exactly window-shopping. This eye witness then continued with his story, saying how he saw that the both of them were walking with this bunch of guys in black and white (who supposedly were dressed like that because they just went out of thir camp but nobody knows what going out of a camp has anything to do with being dressed in black and white). He said he remembered the incident because it was a sight to behold, these people...they were a marching band in themselves, except that they have baloons in place of a real drum. On a separate incident, an undercover agent seems to be in possesion of a revealing story. There seemed to be two ladies who kept talking about this particular someone who got slapped by a stranger. The lady with the pink file was caught to be saying, "if you get slapped by a stranger there must be something terribly wrong with you" and the other lady in black seemed to agree with whatever she was saying. Almost suspiciously agreeing without thinking. Then it seemed that these four ladies got together somehow. What exactly happened there - it was a still a mystery to be unfold. Nobody really knew what happened because eye witnesses claimed that their view were blocked by two very prominent things: the sagging Winnie the Pooh baloons and the big hairdo. All the eyewitnesses seemed to agree on one thing: there were a lot of noise. This story is adapted from real life event. But it seems like nobody can talk to the author to verify the truth behind this story because she seems to be staring blankly at rows and rows of meaningless letters splashed on her computer screen but one thing known is that the one suspicious word that keeps appearing on her screen is "fasta". I guess what I really want to say is that Nobody should spend their birthday alone. Happy birthday, mate. Grinning Goat at 3/29/2006 03:30:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Tuesday, March 28, 2006 To Would you rather know when a bad deed has been done to others and that you're the perpetrator? or would you rather not know? See this is tricky, because when you're asked to choose, there's this underlying assumption that you knew that you're the perpetrator. And this question will only surface when you know, which is why you can choose in the first place. Sometimes you don't really make that decision. You just find out one way or another. And when you know, given the second option, would you rather know? I would. The funny thing is this doesn't apply to murderers. Because when you're the perpetrator, you KNOW (well if you're mentally stable anyway). This applies to words said. Words said that makes you feel good the moment it escapes your mouth but ones which you hardly think about later on and yet are deeply entrenched in other people's minds. They errode the basis of your relationship with people, sometimes without you realizing it because you hardly think about it after you said it in the first place. And what's devastating is not the fact that they butcher you to death because of it but rather the fact that they don't. The memory is there, frozen in time, anchored 10 metres deep in a sea of distrust that will soon be the place where your ship resides. It's a labyrinth of junk you can't get out of. Like a quicksand. Doesn't matter that it takes you in slowly, it's the fact that it takes you in that matters. It's what you're capable of saying, and not so much of what you're saying that matters. Look at all the angry people of the world, does it matter that they say fuck all the time? Words are meaningless without context. What matters is the fact that they know the word is harmful to others and yet they still use it. The intention to harm. In the same way, invitation is often more important than the wedding dinner. You want to be invited not because you want the free lunch (sorry folks, I ain't no free loader) but because the fact that other people bother to invite you means you matter. A show of respect. An acknowledgement that your presence makes a difference (although your absence may not be missed heh) Just like how heaven works in mysterious ways, when you're told that you've done a bad deed, you're stuck. Even resolving that you'll change may not help because then people would think that you're changing because you've been told that you've done a bad deed and that you're just trying to do some last minute damage control. The sincerity is lost. What are you to do? It would've been easier if you can read people's mind of course. Heh but I guess the fact that people bother to learn psychology means people can't read minds. Grinning Goat at 3/28/2006 02:01:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Monday, March 27, 2006 Amazing It's amazing how other people can romantisize about something that has always looked so normal to you. Read this. This is Jakarta's view from a foreigner's eyes. See, I never look at it quite like that. I never thought of it as a place full of adventure. Because the reality is, it is filthy, full of rubbish and is a perfect breeding ground for aedes. You may be amazed that people are being chaffeured around and some people may have more than one maid. But like in any place, Jakarta's good if you're equipped with dolar bills on your pocket. If you're not, good luck surviving. So I guess the bottom line is: it's good being rich anywhere. Having said that, can I convince you that I'm not some crazed materialistic bitch? Grinning Goat at 3/27/2006 12:25:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Sunday, March 26, 2006 Ya have to piece it together R: What's gui ji? Wedy: I think it's a railway track R: It's not orbit? Wedy: I don't know. Gui means railway R: How can you know the meaning of the two words when they're separate but not when they're together? Wedy: because we learnt them as separate words and when put together the meaning may change R: so this word exists and your limited vocabulary's what prevents you from knowing the word? Wedy: ggggrrrrrrr R: So I'm right eh? Wedy: Can we just sing? We can't let Jay Chou wait :: See I get people translating Mai Ya Tang as maltose which according to Wedy is inaccurate (and I concur after she describes how mai ya tang's supposed to look like) It's a little like saying apple's a fruit. It's technically correct but the context is kind of lost (and a great deal at that). One day I'm going to get my chinese straight and give you an accurate translation that provides the context without losing fluency and flow of the lyrics. Wonder when might that be though. Ni man man deng ba. Grinning Goat at 3/26/2006 10:06:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Under the rong tree  Rongshuxia Grinning Goat at 3/26/2006 02:38:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Compromise Kaka and Wedy were being noisy about "the benefit of having a brother". For some reason they have this imaginary ideal brother but not an imaginary ideal sister. Pantat. Wedy: (looking at me) R: What? Wedy: it must be great to have an elder brother (I concluded at this point that she watched too much korean shows) Kaka: (looking at me) yeahhhh R: Be patient and wait for my surgery ok? Kaka: I'm sure a brother won't say pantat all the time Actually. Why wouldn't he? R: eh but being a guy at my height is sad mannn Wedy: Ci, can I call you Ompa? (so I was right about the whole korean show thing) R: erhh? Wedy: ompaaaaaa R: eh Omei shut up laaaa So I don't know what the heck is sister in Korean. Anyway. I came up with an analogy for the word compromise on my way home just now. But along the way I realised it sounds more like marriage. Hehh. See if you're sharing an earphone with someone, you'll come to this point where not everything can fall perfectly into place. An earphone's side is labelled for each ear but sometimes when I'm wearing right on my right ear you have to wear left on your right ear. In the same way when you're wearing left on left I may have to wear right on left. Because earphones don't come with 2 lefts or 2 rights. That's compromise. What you hear on the left earpiece is more often than not different from what you hear on the right. On the left, the base may be less clear but the vocal obvious, on the right the base may sound stronger but the singer less prevalent. So what you and I hear? it's different but it's complementary. It's two sides of the same coin. When you're sharing an earphone you have to walk at the same speed, you have to cross the road together and board the same bus. When I sit you'd have to sit. Because the cable can only go so far. You and I share the music but we also share the noise this auntie sitting not far away makes and get irritated together. When the bus halts suddenly (incompetent bus driver) we both feel the jerks on our earphone and curse together. (Hmm or maybe one person cursing is enough to bring karma to both so two curses would be excessive I think) When you sing the melody I sing the harmony. When one of us gets out of pitch we can cringe together. And then you can turn and shout out, "why the heck are you singing the melody one octave lower when you're supposed to be singing the harmony?" Or maybe this doesn't really apply to everybody. If you're not adept in the arts of loving, how wise is making it up with money? I don't know. I really don't. Grinning Goat at 3/26/2006 12:11:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Saturday, March 25, 2006 Me eyes BEFORE  AFTER  To the malays I must have looked like some lecher. Some mata buaya this is. IN CLOSE UPS 
Grinning Goat at 3/25/2006 04:30:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Friday, March 24, 2006 FOUL FOUL FOUL MOOD It's all in capital. Now you know I meant business. R: Eh marrrrrrrrr DOING 2104 MAKES ME WANT TO KILL SOMEBODY Mar: HAHAHA R: IT's BLINDING SIAAAAAA Mar: killing people will send you to the gallows, kill yourself better R: HOW CAN THEY HAVE SO MANY ORTHOLOGS? SUDDENLY I DON'T APPRECIATE EVOLUTION Mar: haha well they're all very speculative anyway R: AND WE MUST DO ALL THIS SHIT FOR SOMETHING THAT'S NOT EVEN PROVEN TO BE TURE HUH Mar: hahaha yeah can you imagine that you evolve from bacteria and algae? R: Actually marrrrrrr, I CAN. BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T EXACTLY IMPROVED FROM OUR ALGAE STATE Mar: really? R: YEAH WE'RE STILL DOING STUPID THINGS NOW. LIKE BLINDING OURSELVES FOR SOMETHING SPECULATIVE Mar: hahahaha hey the algae may be smarter than us R: Damn you're right :: Shir: Til now my mind's just too narrow to fathom and truly appreciate how this bioinfo thing actually has contributed significantly to the life science area. Jiayousse!! (jiayou- the frenchisized version --> according to her) R: Jiayousse just sounds like jayus man. This thing is really really mind numbing. Not to mention pointless Shir: The cow in the dolphin picture has turned to gigantic dinosaur by now R: Huahahahahaha yeah mine's a T-Rex Grinning Goat at 3/24/2006 10:30:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Top 20 words that drive people mad 1. B.L.A.S.T 2. ORTHOLOGS 3. KEGG 4. BIOINFORMATICS 5. AEROGENOME 6. EVEREST 7. AMINO ACID SEQUENCE 8. NUCLEOTIDE SEQUENCE 9. HIT ID 10. SF01 11. ENZYME ID 12. GENE NAME 13. TAXONOMY 14. POSITIVES 15. LOW COMPLEXITY FILTER 16. MY SQL 17. DATABASE 18. FASTA 19. ORTHOLOGS 20. ORTHO-freaking-LOGS Grinning Goat at 3/24/2006 03:08:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Thursday, March 23, 2006 A matter of opinion A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having V for Vendetta Grinning Goat at 3/23/2006 04:28:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} you can't live without advert Shir: eh ross, usually the professor starts his real lecture at around 12.30 does he not? R: yesh dearie, am I seeing the blooming idea of someone who plans to be late? Shir: bingo! am redoing my lab that's why R: Whoaaa I Shir: Then there you see Lauryn Hill singing at that corner and Carlsberg everywhere Huahahahahahaha erhhh she may connect to the nonsense I just spouted but I think she gets the wrong ad. Grinning Goat at 3/23/2006 04:12:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Aggrieved by a plight that shouldn't be a plight People around here? Pardon me but they protest too damn much. There's this student who's writing in the Straits Times forum about the english proficiency of foreign lecturer in NTU which hinders the learning process (or so he claimed). Someone forwarded me the mail and he thought we could do the same thing in NUS. To put it bluntly, a forum shouldn't be an arena for people to bitch. To put it not so bluntly, informing the media is less productive than giving the feedback to the relevant authority at the university. Someone more cool-headed thought that working "behind the scene allows more flexibility for both parties and it's something the university would appreciate". I don't know if this is human nature or simply a very asian trait I was brought up in, but blowing the trumpet the moment you're not comfortable with something doesn't only spell trouble, it also gives repercussion that's often not beneficial. Imagine you're pissed that when a friend of yours speaks he spits saliva all over you. What's the more reasonable option? To shout it to the whole world that he spits saliva and thus should be held accountable should you get hepatitis because he's a walking medium of transfer of infectious disease? Or to respectfully request to him that he keeps a distance when he speaks? Besides I don't agree completely with the opinion that a lecturer speaking foreign english hinders the learning process. Sure it can be annoying at times, but even then I have to admit that some foreign lecturers and teaching assistants who do not have english as their first language are sometimes the most helpful people around. And I'd rather have someone -who has to gesticulate and play a guessing game with -teaching me rather than someone who speaks flawless english but does not have the patience to answer the stupidest questions. Because getting the brush-off everytime you have a question to ask, I belive IS what hinders the learning process. Because when you ask once and you don't get a straight answer and are told you're stupid then you'll just never ask again. And when you make these teaching staff go for english classes, it will create this stratum in terms of status. Like a kind of pecking order where those proficient in english is deemed to be more superior somewhat. Which is bullshit. Because being proficient in english doesn't automatically make you more articulate. I've had friends who can convey something in a way I never could, never mind that I write on a daily basis. What matters is that what you say hits the spot, who cares if it's not exactly a fancy grandiloquence? You're not making a bloody speech. There's also the danger that "if one places too much emphasis on language proficiency, it might become just that. Wonderfully constructed and eloquent speeches, but lacking content and depth." I can name you one lecturer who's the very epitome of this. But nah I'm not going to invite trouble to meself by getting sued at such a young age. Me thinks it ain't worth it. The medium you use to convey a message matters too. Besides, why do you think a book can be good but its movie adaptation crap? And why is apologising in writing a whole lot easier than apologising to someone's face? There is something about a piece of writing. I think it allows more room for imagination. A cryptic writing can be a piece of art but a cryptic movie? it makes me want to plug out the tv cable. Anyway, there's this essay that I'm supposed to do. R: What are you going to write? Shir: I don't know. I think this is the kind of essay that's going to sound pretty but will revolve around nothing In other words, the essay title should be: The use of rethorics and verboseness to obscure lack of content As to this comment about the possiblity of NUS students doing the very same thing: I thought we're supposed to emulate only something that's GOOD and CONSTRUCTIVE? And oh DON'T YOU PEOPLE COMPLAIN ENOUGH??? Grinning Goat at 3/23/2006 03:22:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} It's too accurate - I have to publish this Dear my lovely brothers and sisters, I am not sure exactly how it works, but this is amazingly accurate. The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress level at St. Mary's Hospital. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study of a group revealed that in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical; a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins. If there are many differences found between both dolphins, it means that the person is experiencing a great amount of stress. Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you may want to take a vacation. No Need to Reply I'll be on Vacation. 
Grinning Goat at 3/23/2006 03:04:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} A visual treat V for Vendetta. Haven't watched a really good movie in a while. Not since Finding Nemo, God I'm a sucker for cartoons. There's something about old english I guess. There's a whole new level of wit in it. And after 6 hours in the lab, fortunately without destroying much of anything watching this movie's really a way to end the day. And playing the guessing game with Po and Karol. Yeh. Grinning Goat at 3/23/2006 12:36:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Wednesday, March 22, 2006 The silly things people do 1. Staring at a box of moving pictures for hours and hours 2. Staring at another box that's smaller but equally eye-blinding for even longer periods. 3. Seeing strangers more often than they see family members 4. Climbing a tree to the top only to discover that they've been climbing the wrong tree all along. Or worse they have no idea what tree to climb so they kind of climb the first tree that they see (What the). Or maybe the tree that they want to climb? It's too high and all they have is a cheap pair of boots with no straps nor ropes. 5. Get clobbered over something they didn't do 6. Fall in love with a superstar whom they'll (probably never) see in real life 7. Vote for untalented piece of crap on tv 8. Crying over something that never really happened 9. Crying over cut onions 10. Memorising informations they'll (probably never) use in real life 11. Writing something they never really believe in to please the professors/editors 12. Lying for no other reasons than to lie 13. Sleeping for shorter hours than a machine rests 14. Trying to catch a train by walking 15. Lowering the temperature of the air-conditioner so low they need to wear a jacket in a tropical climate. Come to think of it this is a little like turning on your ipod and plugging on the earpiece during a concert. Or Singing so loud you make yourself deaf. See? This is probably why if there's a module on predicting human behaviour everyone's going to fail it. Grinning Goat at 3/22/2006 02:58:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Tuesday, March 21, 2006 Erhh See, wedy's been playing this song. This song she can't seem to finish learning. R: Wedy you very noisy eh Wedy: eh I'm an aspiring musician R: erhh rightttt. And this is what happens everytime I want to sing along with her accompaniment. Normal people will sing: Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb... Me: Marry had a leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetlle lamb....(must wait a while for her to get the correct note) leeeeeeeetleee.......lamb.............litlee lambbbbbbbbbbbbb (must hold until she gets the next note) Yea. Our aspiring musician is a little like that. Grinning Goat at 3/21/2006 08:56:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} I'll be damned 
Grinning Goat at 3/21/2006 08:55:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} The whole note-taking business What the lecturer says, "When stimulated by a male, the female's ovarian cells secrete the streoid hormone progresterone which induces the synthesis of MPF on the G-2-arrested oocyte," What Po would write, "When stimulated by a male, the female's ovarian cells secrete the streoid hormone progresterone which induces the synthesis of MPF on the G-2-arrested oocyte," What Karol would write, "MPF synthesis on G-2 arrested oocyte induced by progesterone when ovary stimulated" What Jack would write, "MPF synthesis induced by progesterone" You want word by word recital? Go for Po's. You want content? Go for Karol's. You want something concise? You go for Jack's. Oh wait, now that you know about the content I want to talk about the layout. Option 1: very colourful, small handwriting but equipped with an internal ruler (so please don't wonder how come the two sentences are aligned perfectly. She's a multiple alignment sequencer on her own) Option 2: reasonably colourful, labelled with a name (the truncated version of course, because the full one's too primary school-ish haha), reasonably big handwriting with good separation between words. Kind of spiky. Option 3: simple layout with some colours. Notes written with a pencil (a Hello Kitty one if it makes a difference to you). Small font, no internal ruler but reasonably tidy in general. No name (so nope, this particular note can't really replace the matric card for identification purposes in a test hahaha) So take your pick folks, offers last til stocks last. 5 bucks apiece. Grinning Goat at 3/21/2006 03:01:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Tis the lyric of a great song A group of blood-lust ants They are attracted by rotten meats I showed no expressions Watching the lonely scenery Lost you, love and hatred start to become distinct from one another Lost you, what else should I care? The doves no longer represent peace, I'm finally being reminded The birds that you’re feeding on the square are condors I'm using beautiful rhymes to describe a love that's being rifled to empty Ah~ the dark clouds start to cover the sky up, the night sky is not clean The echoes of funeral in the park are flying around in the air The white roses I gave you are withering away in the pure black environment The crows on the tree branches are weirdly silent Listen silently to my black coat I want to warm up your memories that are gradually getting cold The life that we've been walking through and walking through Ah~ the mist is surrounding the place, I'm in a spacious graveyard I'll still love when I'm old I'm playing Chopin's Nocturne for you In memory of my deadly love Night gale like sounds Heart broken but sounds very good Hands are knocking lightly on the keyboard I carefully thought about you The place where you are buried is called The Nether World I'm playing Chopin's Nocturne for you In memory of my deadly love And I hide my surname and bury my name for you Playing the piano under the moonlight Your heartbeats to me Are still so warm and close I miss your crimson lips Those dragonflies without wings Are falling on this forest And my eyes have no slight of empathy Lost you, the tears becomes turbid and unclear Lost you, even my smiles have shadows underneath it The wind is laughing at my sadness on top of a roof full of moss Like a dried well without water I'm using sadly beautiful font To draw that regrettable love Tis ironic. I'm finding myself being fond of things I used to abhor/avoid. 1. Jazz 2. Singlish (there's something about it that's endearing to my ears; just nothing excessive please) 3. Jay Chou 4. Britney Spears. Hah Kidding. Jazz isn't only tolerable it could actually be pleasurable. Singlish. It bridges distances and dispense of all formalities. I'm all for the Speak Good English Campaign but hey give singlisher a break, they sound friendly (when they don't sound whiny huahahha) Jay Chou well, he produces good music. For the most part anyway. One can never judge too early eh. Anyway I was humming the other day when Wedy spoiled all my illusion of grandeur. Wedy: Ci, you sound like William Hung R: heyyyy I was humming the harmony Wedy: ah excuses Oh yea I had this conversation with Po this morning. Happened when the professor (proudly?) proclaimed that he did badly for his O-level (and offered to show us his cert). R: He put that in his CV too Po: yea I've seen it R: Doesn't that make you feel good? Po: what does? R: this, if people like him can grow up to be like this there's hope for people like us. Grinning Goat at 3/21/2006 02:39:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Sunday, March 19, 2006 GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR You'd lie on the bed with your hands beneath your head and feel the pulse. A constant rhythm. Sometimes weak sometimes strong but ultimately it's there. It's consistent. And you know that you're alive. And probably one day you'll get so mad the blood vessel in your head's going to burst. Anyway I find this whole hoohaa over blogging political stuff during election period annoying. So much for the media telling us just a couple of weeks back that Singaporeans don't really give two shits about politics. Who's right then, huh? Do they or do they not? Grinning Goat at 3/19/2006 10:21:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Seasoned and polished to perfection Talent may be innate but it is definitely seasoned with age. I hope you don't intreprete this as me having the hots for older musicians. Heh. Grinning Goat at 3/19/2006 03:26:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Friday, March 17, 2006 Hittin the sack "Patience is a flatterer, sir and an ass, sir" Aphra Behn Suffice it to say that there's no greater enemy than yourself. Perhaps that's why will power is such an artillery. People have nuclear weapon. Me? I'm a knife kind of guy. It's a 5 buck kitchen knife. And it's blunt. Congratulate me. I wanted to end it there but I guess I'm too much of a big mouth to. I am studentless now. And it's depressing. One thing I learn though is that when you're acting as leader, you can question a lot of things but yourself. Because once you do it'll be your downfall. People who stand in front have to be cool-headed for the others. They have to be smart for everybody. They have to be a lot of things for everybody. But of course teachers aren't God the same way they aren't walking dictionaries. Nah I never dreamt of doing this for life but this is a little like someone telling me I can't write. For one thing it suck to be bad at something that you like. It makes you question a lot of things. A lot of things that make you you. Because when it comes down to it, what makes you you? Tell me. What is it??? They say long sleepers have shorter lifespan. But I'm going to sleep 12 straight hours even if it gives me bleeding migraine if that's what it takes to remedy my mood. Because I'm not exactly environmentally friendly now. Grinning Goat at 3/17/2006 11:07:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Wednesday, March 15, 2006 The unknown I was struggling with this lab report when I thought about this. One of science's pitfalls (which ironically is also one of the reasons why the concept of science still stands today) is that we always start with the unknown. Scientists always look for patterns. When they do get it, they'll try to manipulate it to their advantage. But when they started off, this pattern is unknown. We suspect there's something about this unknown but we just don't know what the heck it is. So we stare at it, scratch our head a little and go back to staring at it (after all people do get paid for staring at the unknown. It's called research ,folks). The problem with starting with the unknown is that you need to tediously investigate. Sometimes you stumble on that thing that brings you one step closer to identifying the unknown the way Flemming discovered penicillin. But most of the time, you're pretty much walking down this road with no stumbling blocks on it. Or worse, you keep stumbling on all the wrong things. This I believe is called experimental error. Of course some people get sued for this, after all what exactly separates data manipulation from experimental error huh? it's a thin line we're walking. Oh wait yea there's this thing called statistical tests certainly, but i'm not going to even attempt to convince you of the merit of discussing this. Anyway, because it is unknown you won't really know when you simply skim through it. This means when you're investigating, you have to scrutinize every single procedure you carry out because well, if you miss it then you miss it (and sometimes for life - imagine you're the Rosalind Franklin of today standing near the Watson and Crick's present day equivalent. Must be devastating huh) This is why I agree with what one of my tutors said. Scientists don't do important work. But it's necessary that they do a lot of it. Kind of like finding a needle in a hay stack isn't it? Oh removing the hay is menial but it's essential that you remove a lot of it, well to remove enough anyway to find this elusive needle. Hmm actually the idea behind me writing this is pretty stupid. The unknown in my case was the primer position in this stupid pGEM-T vector. The a lot of work was the scanning through base after base and guess how long my PCR product is. But that's besides the point. A friend of mine was pondering the whys of textbooks being written in such dull manners. She was arguing that if maybe they write texbooks the way they write magazines it'll improve textbooks' popularity among those bunch of students who're prone to the reading trauma. It'll probably work. WHo knows? But I guess we'll never find out, will we? because what are the prospects of academics writing tabloid-style? They're way too serious. Grinning Goat at 3/15/2006 02:05:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Saturday, March 11, 2006 It all depends on the questions R: eh kiwi Biwi: I'm not used to you calling me kiwi man R: oh yea I forget biwi. Actually, I'm not used to the biwi who typed with a heart on her m too. R: eh biwi who's that guy? Biwi: what guy? R: the guy in your picture Biwi: what you mean this ----> ? R: yeah man Biwi: ross R: what? Biwi: THAT's ME you're looking at R: Hahhh? Biwi: it's me in my thinker pose (I wanted to comment on her 'thinker pose' but was too busy being surprised) R: wait how about that black thing at the back of your head, isn't that someone else's head? Biwi: My hair!!!! in a bun. ROSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! R: my eyeeeeeeeeeeee Biwi: what a friend I have R:eh biwi you make me feel damn smart eh Biwi: I'm hugging my pillow man! What a great analysis of my picture... Maybe when they said there's something wrong with the way I observe things? maybe there's some truth in that. Anyway I was mass-emailing this survey form. And some people say the darndest thing and they're not even kids. Ask Bill Cosby why is this so. Which country do you think santa claus is in? 1.USA 2.North Pole, what country is that? 3.Turkey (I like this guy, whoever wrote this. He increases the standard deviation in my statistics) 4.Santa claus exist in people's mind for a very long time (this person takes this thing too seriously...) You know there was this question. Do you think music is being played inside santa's house? If you tick yes, do you think it's always christmas song that's being played. A surprisingly large number of people answered yes to both. Which brings me to this next question I can't ask for fear of being irrelevant in my highly interesting project: Won't they get bored? (christmas song EVERYDAY eh) Do you think everyone's wearing an ear cap to minimise ear and brain damage from too high a dose of jingle bells? Or do they alternate from Kenny G's instrumental to Babyface's have a merry little christmas (great song by the way) to Mariah carey's All I want for christmas? Hmmm do you think they play more classical, some very old christmas song? You know since someone answered the question of how long has santa's house been around with "eons" and "forever". (which of course brings me to this question: so is santa jobless when the dinosaurs were still around?) Anyway I hate it when people are not answering a question straight. This afternoon I think we're so into doing this we sounded like some retarded moron. Some fun retarded moron I meant. "There's gotta be more than one santa man" "Maybe there's one in asia one in europe, one in the middle east and one in the US you know" "You make it sound like a terrorist group" "A community of santa" (imagine: the Claus community club, please register at the booth to be a member) "It's better if there's only one santa" "Why?" "Because it's more magical that way" "There's gotta be more than one santa" "Po? there's none." Yeh and this is what I get for this highly entertaining project. To have so thick a skin it's scaly and no amount of moisturiser's going to help me. Po: eh ross be more thick-skinned and approach more people in msn R: huahahha Po: be cheap for a night ross That. That sounds like something she'd say alright. Oh yea actually I wanted to write about how I am desperately in need of a left hand sound generator but never mind that now. Grinning Goat at 3/11/2006 01:35:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Thursday, March 09, 2006 Tis funny Kaka's working in this place. She's supposed to make this international call to Indonesia and basically invite people to come to this seminar. Sorry folks but I gotta do this in indo. For the full effect ya know. My sister's direction-blind by the way. Bapak: maaf ya mbak itu seminarnya di mana? Kaka: di hotel Ritz Carlton. Di Kuningan pak Bapak: wahhh di kuningan yaaa hmm klo selaen lewat jalan lingkar tiga bisa lewat mana lagi ya? Kaka: erhhh... kurang tau pak.... Mungkin bapak bisa bawa rekan rekan bapak dari departemen IT Bapak: wahhh bawa tiga2nya ya? Ntar kosong donk departemen IT Kaka:... :: Dan berhubung kaka kurang fasih berbahasa indonesia... (notice how grammatically correct I try to make it to be) Kaka: ibu mau datang ke seminarnya? Ibu: mbak, mbak orang indonesia bukan? Kaka: erhh? iya iya Ibu: ah pasti mbak bukan orang indonesia kan? Kaka:... (and after that she grumbled to me about people who are so disturbed by a caller's national identity that the seminar is being forgotten altogether) She didn't mention anything about improving her uhh fluency though. Grinning Goat at 3/09/2006 08:34:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Wednesday, March 08, 2006 Don't be funny. Be civil Everything I said for the past few weeks is in the archive. It's there if you want to have a look. It's not exactly a pillar of my pride though. I've been juvenile and there have been mistakes. This page. It's not as clean as the digestive system of a newborn (like before they get meat into their system) but I hope it's clean enough - to be like someone who's just undergone stomach pumping after an overdose. Or someone who's been induced to puke after some food poisoning incident. Hmm I guess analogy isn't my strongest suit. But you get the idea. I'm not exactly someone who can bargain (there's something that links my stupidity, buying of an overpriced stuff and losing money)but I hope this doesn't sound cheap. My apology. Whatever I wrote, whatever the intention, it was uncalled for. The price. Folks I can't afford to lose. It's too high. It ain't worth it. Grinning Goat at 3/08/2006 09:46:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} One way to look at it A friend of mine wrote once. About how she thinks life is a series of waiting process. When you're a kid you wait to grow up. When you go to a class you wait to be dismissed. When you go to school you wait to graduate. When you've graduated you wait to find a job. Of course in between you'll get to wait in a queue in the toilet. You wait for your turn in the amusement park. You wait for people to finish speaking before you can scoot off from the LT. You wait for your pay check every month. You wait to be served in the restaurant. You wait to be seated in a concert hall. You wait for your hair to grow. So that when it's long you can cut it so then you can go back to waiting for it to grow. You wait for your shoes to get worn out so you get an excuse to buy a new one. You wait for the stupid advertisement to end (it's supposed to be 5 minutes but now it's gotten so long you start to wonder if they're still gonna show the last half of your movie) On monday you wait for tuesday. Tuesday you wait for wednesday. Wednesday for thursday. Thursday for friday. Then weekends baby, and you don't want to wait for monday but you just do. You always do in the end. You wait to get thin. Then you wait to get fat. Hah. Joking. You wait to sleep (because mannn sleep is goooodddd) You wait for the rain to stop. You wait to be fetched (if anyone's fetching anyway) You wait for the break. You wait for holidays. Then you wait to get married. Then you wait to get a kid or two. Then you wait for them to grow up. Then you wait to see if they grow up to be someone you can be proud of. Then you wait for them to get married. Then you wait to see your grandchild. And you wait to retire. And you wait to die. Well, my friend she didn't put it quite like that. Better I think. And recently she's started writing again. Good to see her back actually. I don't read that many blogs and hers was well one of those I still read from time to time. This one about waiting is in her archive somewhere. Grinning Goat at 3/08/2006 07:14:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Shoulda Woulda Coulda I love the beginning. I love the middle. I love the end. I love Mc.Knight's mellow voice. I love his adlib-ing. I love the harmony. I love every single bit of it. What's a life without music? Something that stirs your blood. That soft spot at the back of a cat's head that makes it close its eye in ecstasy when you rub it. Something beautiful. Then slash it into half. Grinning Goat at 3/08/2006 06:59:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Tuesday, March 07, 2006 What I hope will stick to mind at least until tomorrow  Man. Am I artistic or what? Grinning Goat at 3/07/2006 08:28:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Heritage I'm not sure the title even befits this entry. Anyway I want to start this in a light hearted manner. Never mind how it progresses after that. Remember how I said I have a way to spoil a conversation? Well it turns out I really do. And most of the time the person did little to deserve that. Anyway I had this serious talk. And while I did, Owlie was asking me to help her do a survey. So while I was having the serious talk, this popped up in a separate window. R: eh how do you tick la owlie? Owlie: can, gotta highlight or put a symbol :: Owlie: how boro? can or not? R: am doing :: Owlie: dear, are you done with the survey? Owlie: whoa you're putting a lot of thought into it huh? huahaha R: a lot lot you have no idea, owlie Owlie: okok Owlie: I'm scared. But what I do put a lot of thought about it's how I ended up in this state of mess. Not what grade I'll put (1 being least important and 6 being most important) for this category in choosing a cell phone/attire/hair cut : brand, price, public appeal, peer pressure and what not. Learn from me folks, the danger of writing on impulse is that it creates this illusion of satisfaction. This dangerous intent to harm people who read it. Never mind that they read it or not. But the intention is there and that's bad enough. I write things I come to regret. Sometimes I took down the post and sometimes I didn't. It just seems like a cowardly thing to do because whatever I write, it was real at the time I write it, never mind that my perception changes. Whatever a reader reads, it is always subject to the writer's perspective. If the writer decides to present only one side of the coin then that's what the readers will see. Nothing less. Nothing more. And of course like any one sided things, it's full of bias. In favour of the author of course. Because there are some things we're too ashamed to admit. So we resort to what we do best: write in a defensive manner. And when that happens, everybody sounds wrong. Only I sound right. Maybe my friend is right, she stops writing when she's short of inspiration. That's what good writers do. Bad writers? they'll just go on and on bitching about the life that nobody cares about. And in the process drag people down along the way. I wanted to say I stood by what I wrote because I could not honestly say I wrote things without thinking. On impulse maybe, but I did think. I guess it does make me a hypocrite sometimes. Because the things I write I don't say aloud. But then again absence of a statement doesn't mean no lies are being told. Just like how the verdict of not guilty doesn't necessarily mean you're innocent. I didn't mean it to sound like I was being made use of because I didn't feel like I was (I willingly gave the points and it was only normal to ask the time I called), but it was true that the only time the name Ross was being called that day was in that two instances. I did notice. Because the time when a name is being called is when a conversation is being initiated and it didn't happen very often. And no, I did not mention this fact aloud. So yes, maybe this does make me a hypocrite. Although I didn't know with certainty who's visiting this place I had a rough inclination. And I was hoping that you'd read it so then you'd know without my having to say a word. Like a silent protest. Because an open confrontation would end up in a war. But maybe that doesn't make me less of a hypocrite still. Maybe I should be more upfront. One thing about this though is that I can't stop writing. It's like this cancer that has metastasized. Even if it leads to my own death. This post isn't about an apology though. Too much of it cheapens the apology anyway. Because if you're sorry all the time, you can't be sorry. This opinion, I shared. This post is as much an admission as I can come to terms with. Not much huh? Maybe I'm writing in a defensive manner again. Like I always do. You know I never believe in a horoscope prediction stuff they manage to cheat the magazine to put on publication. But there's this particular one that struck me. I can't remember which month is this prediction supposed to be for but it says I'm going to lose someone. And today, with this line "if you think it's best, then leave me alone", I almost lost a friend. And a stranger actually made an innocent passing remark once about how she thought this friend and I have been friends since primary school. Which I think by most people's standard, is something that's supposed to be long-lasting. Able to stand the test of time (not to mention each other's temper) I guess. Funny ain't it? The thing about making people mad is that you make them say things they won't say in normal circumstances. But it's better to have one big explosion than a lot of mini explosions is it not? At least after the big explosion you can let the dust settle so people can move on. There's this perspective about friendship I never really thought about. That there's only friends and not friends. There's no such thing as a good friend or a bad friend. Just like homology. Two sequences are either homologous or not. There's no 60% homology or 70% homology. Which makes sense. Because why must people grade friends? Isn't it enough that you have graded exam and that you're graded in an interview and practically graded in every aspect of your life? If friendship is a module, it should not be graded it should be under the S/U option. Satisfactory or Unsatisfactory. What do people care if you get a C+ if you get S? In my quest for the impossible, I was testing the limit. How low can I go before I move from an S to a U? I should send a note of appreciation to whoever posted that horoscope prediction. I'm coming clean today. I'm sending Po the whole conversation. If I can't get a priest to confess to (which I won't ever do anwyay), this is the closest confession I can make. R: Does it matter that people forget? Po: Well I had a big fight once in secondary school (this makes me feel very juvenile by the way) R: Did you guys made it up? Po: yeah R: that's good Po: I don't forget things, I just move on R: that's a nice way to put it Po: I can still remember the place where we fought, it was about 2 pm in the afternoon R: Whoaaaaaaaaa you're crazy laaaaa But the point is, you live and learn. And Po, being Po said something that cracked me up. Po: so what are you gonna do? R: What do you think I should do? Po: I don't know. But now that I know, what should I do? R: you? just be you. You're a natural buffer. Po: but I can't pretend I don't know what's happening. I mean I can forget about the genetic code but this is different. Huahahahahahahaha. Well I did give her the option of choosing to know or not to know. And she chose to know. Anyway I call this entry heritage because I am not taking down those stuff I wrote earlier on. As much a mistake as it was, it would be there. In the wall of shame. And it won't be forgotten. Because people hardly forget. (after all this is not the genetic code we're talking about). But I hope people can move on. And that one day there'll be two people joking about this somewhere. (Is asking to forget at least the date and venue too much? Man po's memory's way to photographic for her own good) By the way I finally finished doing OWlie's survey. It's just that msn didn't seem to be able to transfer the file to her. OWlie: ahh it's fated that I can't get the response from the pro then R: Now you make me feel like I HAVE to send it with all the bootlicking that's going on huahahaahaha. I mailed her the survey. Po: so how do you feel now? R: if it's what I feel it's mostly regret Po: all that's done is done R: yep you can't erase memory the same way you can't erase regret Po: there's no point in regretting R: maybe. I want to be God Po: I want to be God too. So I can go to medical school R: hah?? why don't you just ask to BECOME A DOCTOR? WHY BE A GOD FIRST?? You live and learn. If people can't forget then I hope they can move on. For whatever it's worth. Grinning Goat at 3/07/2006 02:41:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Monday, March 06, 2006 The quirks The quirks about borrowing someone's stuff is that sometimes it comes with other things not pre-ordered. Well stuff like this: 1. A flier for this workshop on "Defensive tactics against sexual harassment". Inclusive of ways on how to deal with a) wrist grabs b) hair pulls c) punches and kicks d) chokes and strangles e) attacks from behind. It comes with a live demonstrations too folks. Oh and it says here "Learn how to break free from common holds in a rape/molest situation" and " Learn Realistic no-nonsense techniques from leading instructors of unarmed combat who have trained over 20000 Air Stewardesses" and umm "Learn all aspects of sexual assault awareness, avoidance and escape drills" 2. A twelve bucks receipt for locker service renewal 3. Some ad about this helpline featuring some horrible drawing and the operating hours of course. 4. A receipt from the body shop for stuff bought at 19 bucks Hmmmm this brings to attention this reminder about how I should get a real real book mark for my textbooks. In case I lend my book to people you know. Grinning Goat at 3/06/2006 11:13:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} A world without engineers I thought a world without engineers have a kind of a Flintstones feel to it. Without mechanical engineers  Electronic engineers  Civil engineers  Communication engineers  Computer engineers  Mannn the size doesn't do these pictures justice. Grinning Goat at 3/06/2006 07:00:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Sunday, March 05, 2006 High-fliers R: this notes is full of bullshit Mama: it's the bullshit that'll come out later R: But this is too bullshit. Eh ma, say Tinwee is bullshit Mama: No, you're enough we don't need another one R: another one of what? Mama: crazy people R: Say tinwee is bullshit. This is important if you don't say it I'll fail Mama: no such nonsense R: (blocking the ironing board) say tinwee's bullshit or you can't iron Mama: Since when are you turning into ono? R: say it Mama: (sigh) tinwee's bullshit R: Yayyyyyy mothers. The very epitome of mere presence that's comforting. Oh and apparently I'm allergic to anything that's not gold. Maybe I should try platinum. And man I love my hair. Not really my head because you know it's flat and the brain space's kind of small but I love my hair. Ok. I shall be remembered for this bimbo post. Grinning Goat at 3/05/2006 08:43:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} very business-like Ross was called 1. To be asked if the point transfer has been done correctly 2. To be asked what time she called last week and the rest was just question-answer session. Unidirectional. "If blue is resident, what does having multi-tags mean?" Maybe it's just me but I have this bugging feeling that as soon as I was being told that someone realised I was the wrong person to tell. Like ehh it's you, but it's not supposed to be you. Grinning Goat at 3/05/2006 11:52:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} When the teacher gets too smart with you R: Sir, why does the twilight zone exist? Sir: Oh this question is as big as the question of why the universe exists I can imagine continuing R: So sir are you asking me to ask God? Grinning Goat at 3/05/2006 12:12:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Saturday, March 04, 2006 The naked mind This is what happens when two sisters make up the whole of the student population in your class. R: So xiaohui, do you understand the meaning of this word, propaganda? Xiaohui: No R: Ok, I'll include this word in your vocab book then Xiaomin: I know what it means R: oh it doesn't matter, if your sister doesn't know, half the class doesn't know so by majority you have to put this word in your vocab book too You know I was thinking about something on the bus just now when the person beside me turned towards me and I had this sinking sensation that maybe the wall in my brain wasn't so sound-proof. Like my thoughts were visible. Weird. Anyway. I was thinking if maybe I should start going to church again. Because the last time I did it was well a kind of a give-thanks for something that didn't happen. A wish asked and a wish fulfilled. Which in a way is kind of selfish. A little like calling a friend just to ask for help. I mean sure I don't mind helping but it'd be nice if friends call just because they want to call, you know. Which come to think of it, may not even be how the state of things are in the grand scheme of things. I mean what makes us think God will think the way we do? Which brings me to another point: the bible is always subject to human interpretation. But then again I think a true measure of sincerity sometimes does not lie in what we think others think but simply what we think. A: why did you return the money? The person who dropped it will not know if you keep it B: but I will. Something like that. I made a bargain once. It was a vow to treat profanity as blasphemy. And the constant fear is that once I break my vow there's no stopping the higher order from breaking his, and I'd have my granted wish revoked then. In any case profanity is juvenile, regardless of what Mark Twain says about profanity furnishing a relief denied even to prayer, which to my (must be) juvenile mind sounds highly true. But I find it a struggle to remove this one word from my vocabulary bank: pantat. Because you know the first time a friend used it on me, I thought it kind of sounds endearing. Like a kind of recognition that ahhh it's just ross I can shove this word down her throat and she won't even blink. An offensive word that doesn't offend. You don't get that everyday. I'd even say pantat have a positive connotation. I must be mad. Grinning Goat at 3/04/2006 11:15:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Thursday, March 02, 2006 If "If the truth harms more than it helps, would you stick to the truth?" "Those who smile are always stronger than those who anger." Sh: I always whined when I have to get up in the morning, are you like that too? R: me? I don't whine actually I just put on this very black face and go GGGGRRRRRRR Sh: huahahaha that's classic ross It's always pleasing when someone can define you that accurately. I don't think I know more about a classic version of me than she does. Grinning Goat at 3/02/2006 11:33:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Wednesday, March 01, 2006 Optimism When a great man that used to stand tall fall. There's something sad about that. Not everybody have that same spirit about life. That it isn't one big empty joke. My mother? she keeps me sane. Grinning Goat at 3/01/2006 11:39:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} |
 "Stupid is as stupid does" Forrest Gump
Archieves for the-nothing to dos
SNEAK PEEK |
