Monday, February 27, 2006

My $1.70 pride

It started with me saying , here have a drink.
And then after I blurted out the why of my buying something that's not really to my taste, the teasing started. Something to do with them drinking something that's not meant for them.

They're being disgusting.

Kaka: ah will I choke if I drink this? Ono here have some too
Ono: nah my throat will get all warmmmmm
R: Ehhh since when you're on kaka's side? What do you think this is huh, the love potion?
Ono: nahhhhhhh just this $1.70 drink, eh ka are you sure you can afford it if we drink this?
R: Ehhh ka you and your big mouth. I've never seen Ono being so glib before
Kaka: that's why I said the drink is powerful.
R: save me the grief
Kaka: you could have you know. All you had to do is to not take it out of the bag just now and just drink it yourself.
R: I'm not drinking that stuff man
Ono: Eh see me drink this.
R: that just proves it. I always share the good stuff.
Ono: Say, if I get some flu are you goin to buy me one too?

And just like that. My $1.70 pride was crushed like a bee.

Anyway my cursed notebook may not be that hopeless after all. I think it's some hardware problem that needs some fixing, which is dandy because then I wouldn't have to grieve over losing anything. And yea I actually did resorted to summoning the help of my great uncle.

And then he was showing us this bit of video of him in Israel. I think that's something of a pilgrimage to him I guess. And as he showed us that I (well Kaka and I) were trying hard to recollect the names of the cities in the long forgotten stories in the bible that we learnt in primary school. A fat lot of good our brain did us. An utter disservice.

There's this particular video though. Of Jesus' tomb. It was a little like playing the CSI (except of course that this was no criminal scene) because see, there were actually three empty slots in the family burial plot.
And they kind of guessed that Jesus' body must have lied in the extreme left because the slot looked the most completed. You could see evidence of half-carved rocks in the other 2.

And what's most interesting is this: the slot on the extreme left. It showed some evidence of being lengethed towards the end. Almost as though the tomb was designed for someone and occupied by a toally different person. Which makes perfect sense.
Because this family burial, it was built for this rich family but it was occupied by someone else- Jesus.

R: so the people in this family must be erhhh short then
Uncle: (without blinking) yeah, Jesus' taller.

And then there was the video of this synagogue. And some Jews congregating near the wall with this black bag plastered to their forehead.

Uncle: Did you see that? you know what's inside that black bag? It's scriptures. the prayers
R: Huahahaha ka we're gonna be needing some of that for the exam
Kaka: (who's acting all saintly today after crushing my $1.70 pride) you want to cheat, huh?
Uncle: oh and it's not just in the forehead too. It's also in the arms and chest.

That's not a very strong sign of faith in life, is it? Prayers all over the place. It's a little like saying, God I'm going to join you soon so please let St.Peter make my bed.

And then there's this particular place. It was a tiny winding pathway surrounded on both sides by gigantic rocks. Think Finding Nemo where Dori tells Marlin to go through and not over. Except that the rocks are all brown instead of grey. For something as dull as rocks, the place looks pretty exotic actually.

My uncle said it stretches for about a mile. I wanted to ask him how many kilometres was that but was too pre-occupied with maintaining the image of a niece who knows her metrics conversion table very well to come around to asking.

They carved houses out of those gigantic rocks. Made holes in the rocks and lived inside them. There's this particular one that looks familiar. It was where they shot the movie Indiana Jones. Actually before my uncle mentioned Mr.Jones I was thinking more towards The adventure of Tintin, being more of a fan of him when I was young. Indiana was one of those movies I watched in my grandmother's house which I didn't quite understand except for the fact that the movie was supposed to be exciting and there was someone in it eating monkey's brain.

And then he showed us this lake. Galilea or something that sounds like that I think.
My uncle, he was on a boat. And apparently there must be some corny fella in it from around here. Because suddenly I could hear the sound of the national anthem playing in the background.

GUBRAKKKZZZZZ

You can't even escape it there.
My uncle, he said someone actually BROUGHT THE CD with him.

Very nationalistic man.

Anyway time to do my lab report. I had this interesting poem I wanted to post but that'll have to wait.

Grinning Goat at 2/27/2006 09:56:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Altruism

Altruism.

In every sense of the word.

It's scary.

It's almost mortifying not to be able to grasp the concept.

Maybe that's why having a religion is so scary too.

I fear what it does to people.

More of what it doesn't do to me I suppose.

But what I know I don't want, it's get one after somebody dies.
It's a little like trying to catch a train that has left the platform.
In any case it always feels like that anyway.
Trying to catch a train. Except that it's not visible in the horizon.

Tell me. Is there a line between believing and not believing? Or are they not exclusive?

I still remember my neighbour telling me, maybe you don't see the apple on the table because you refuse to see it, Ross
The more I think about this, the more it rings true.
Maybe I do refuse to see it. Just because it's irritating to hear other people promoting the apple, doesn't mean the apple isn't there.

I guess it's always shocking when it's someone you know. Someone you know who didn't use to see the apple. Well not this clearly anyway.

The shame. I never felt the shame of not understanding before. I always tell my student to say "I forget to bring my homework" as opposed to "I never bring my homework" because you know it's so easy to abuse the word never without comprehending the meaning of the word. When I said I never felt the shame before though, I meant it in every sense of the word.

I never felt the shame.

I do now.

22 years old. That's not very young. Maybe it is about time for me to at least try to see the apple, huh? To not be so resistant?

Well this is funny. I was raised in a catholic school you know. I'm familiar with the catholic ways. I grew up saying their prayers. Used to even go to the chapel for no particular reason. Went for religious classes outside the school hours. Grouchily went to church on sunday morning (grouchily, but hey I still went, got praised by the religious class' teacher (oh I'd hate to imagine what she'd think of the person I've become now)

I thought what do you care if I become a free thinker as long as I'm at peace with myself.
But am I?

Mental stability the size of a pea.

Paranoia bordering on the extreme.

Being stuck in narrow conversations with no point other than to make one.

Cynical to the point of being abrasive. If I can't see the paint maybe it's because I've scrubbed the wall clean, huh?

To understand people is not to ask them questions. THat's an interrogation.
To understand people is to observe. I guess I never really understood that.

You can't see the simple things if you think complicated 99% of the time.
To hate? it's easy. To come to terms with the hatred that's the hard part.
To refuse a concept? that's easy. It's trying to understand it that's hard.
To live life? Not so easy. But it's trying to comprehend the meaning behind it that's even harder.
To go to church? that's easy. It's trying to understand God that's hard.

I guess seeing a couple of blacksheep in a sea of white is not enough of an excuse.

But do you know what's scarier?

It's waking up on the wrong side of the bed tomorrow. To discard completely whatever I just said and to go back to the old ways of seeing things.
Besides it's familiar. It's comfortable. It has worked before. And it's the easier option.

If I can't see the apple for life maybe this is why.

Stubborn old mule.

Grinning Goat at 2/27/2006 02:31:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Right

I have a way to spoil a conversation.

Probably my only talent.

Grinning Goat at 2/27/2006 02:20:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Guess the word

I'll give you all the vowels.

1.A houseful of people who look alike.

_ A _ I _ _


2.Someone whom you'll give your kidney too only to realise he doesn't want one. And that he'd get the kidney from someone else. And if the position is reversed, you'd be happy just to get one fourth of a kidney. Regardless of whether it's functioning.

_ E _ _
_ _ I E _ _

3.A Position where you don't know if you're the only one who doesn't know.

_ E _ _
_ O _ E

4.People you think don't matter much but are sometimes a lot more thoughtful than the people you know.

_ _ _ A _ _ E _ _

5.A person who tells you "it's like THAT. Because I say so". Being monosyllabic and have a tendency to hang up without excusing himself and without saying goodbye of course.

_ U _ E
A _ _

6.People say it's an arrogant thing to say but this is something I really want to be right now.

_ O _

or if not, having this ability would do too.

_ I _ _
_ E A _ I _ _

Or I don't mind being this:

_ I E
_ E _ E _ _ O _

7.Making full use of your friends

_ _ A _ _

8.Something I'd long to have but never really got around to having. I guess this is the basis of true altruism. If there's anything I need to learn from my diva friend, it's not how to recognise half a semi tone off but it's this. As simple as that.

_ A I _ _

9.Something hard earned. Sometimes I just don't know if I've earned it from my mates.

_ _ U _ _

10.Something a lot more dangerous lurking within the apparent appearance of silence.

_ U _ _ E _ O U _
I _ _ E _ _

A hundred bucks for those who guess everything right.
Yeah, I'm that generous. Considering the circumstances.

Grinning Goat at 2/26/2006 11:58:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Late bloomer

Kaka says I'm a late bloomer. Because what I experienced now is something she used to experience. And now our position is reversed.

I guess I was being stupid. Because I was trying to compare her experience with mine, I'd look at the outcome of hers and tried to force fit it as something of a projection for the outcome of mine.

I thought her past is my present and so her present should be in a way, my future.

But of course it doesn't work that way. Because people are different. That's what she said anyway. Actually her exact words were "Ci, don't play detective"

Two cars that used to run side by side would not run parallel forever.
Sometimes some pretty red car take over. You don't know why. They just do. And before you know it you're out of step with the rest of the cars. You're not parallel anymore.

And when that happens you'll start thinking if you did something with the accelerator.
That maybe absence of truth stems from lack of trust or if maybe there's a gap in the aerial and that gap is you. The sad thing is. You don't know if the disruption just happens to your station or if it does to the other station too.

I want my old mindset back. Being a kid forever is better than being a late bloomer.

It's steeped with suspicion, lies and paranoia. And you can't even be irate about it because it'll leave you stranded in this league of extraordinary petty-minded men. With your name forever engraved in the hall of fame.

There's this piece of very wise advice.
Don't analyse. Just live life.

I guess it'll make people happier. But I do wonder if trying not to notice actually is the same thing as not noticing. Is trying to laugh the same thing as laughing?

They said you shouldn't lie to yourself because if you can't even be honest to yourself who's going to help you then?

Just a matter of opinion, do you actually bargain with God?
What do you think will happen to someone who bargains with his lifespan?
If he has a lot to bargain for, do you think he'll still be alive tomorrow?

Grinning Goat at 2/26/2006 11:08:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Saturday, February 25, 2006

The gay side of us

I was talking to a friend of mine. The conversation kind of drifted off to homosexuality. And there's this perception it seems that there's a gay side to every woman.

The argument was: Females actually check out other females who look good.
They praise. They complain.

I mean isn't that one of the reasons why fashion magazines are selling so well?
You look at males and you don't see them eyeing other good-looking men.
Or is that just the way they're raised?
And that females are simply designed with eyes for details? (something went wrong during my production I think)

"I got a friend who's a lesbian. Her sister's one too. Can't imagine being their parents"
"One is not too bad, but two? It makes you question your parenting skill. You think there's such a thing as gene for gay-ness? "
"I don't know. You think? I think it's just how they think"
"But can we control how we think?"
"I think there's a gay side to every woman. As in not gay gay of course. Just like how we check out good looking girls instead of guys sometimes"
"Unlike guys, huh?"
"Yeah hahaha that's why I said there's a gay side to every woman. It just depends on what we’ll do with this 'ability' hahahaha"
"whoaaaa huahahahaha like whether we DEVELOP the talent, eh? "
"Yeahh huahaha ok I speak like a nut, you don't have to listen to me"
"Oh no worries there I'm trained. Have been for 3 semesters now"

Does it all depend on how we think?
I mean let's assume we can control what we think. We know that not to have an identity is akin to being discriminated against. Something to be abhorred. And pitied. Then why are there people who stand at the edge of the boundary? To be in no man's land? Not to really belong to any of the exclusive groups that are the genders?

Why do they still do it knowing the implications if it's within their power to stop it?
Or is this power we're talking about but an elusive concept?
And that really, underneath it all we're just powerless creatures?

Is there anything wrong with being a homosexual?
Oh I can think of some. Hindering pro-creation. Going against nature and religion. It's selfish. It spreads STDs faster than a forest fire. It disgusts people.
But what is being 'right'? Isn't rightness just a collective hunch? Something a lot of people agreed on for a long time it became a convention of some sort?

Me? I'm just disturbed. I don't even know if I have a right to be because it must be hard to even try to explain to yourself why your sexual orientation does not exactly fit the description appropriate for your gender. Only God can tell you that.

God must have existed. Because there are too many questions. And too many unanswered questions.

Homosexuals may have a choice on how to lead their lives. But let's say you have a tv.

You have an option whether to watch it. But if there's only one channel. Do you still have a choice at the end of it all?

Grinning Goat at 2/25/2006 01:13:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

It comes in all sizes folks

"Eh do you think different people have different level of crappiness towards different people?"

"Crappiness? yes lah. There's small, medium and large"
"Small meaning the crap is really shit crap. Medium is funny crap."

"wow there's a category huh?"

"and large is super crappy and it makes people laugh?"

-----listenin to Edwin Mc Cain: I could not ask for more (courtesy of buika)------

Grinning Goat at 2/25/2006 12:23:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Friday, February 24, 2006

If truth is beauty

Stumbled on some funny quotes today. All by the same person. Lily Tomlin.

"If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?"
Because the librarian ain't pretty.

"If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed."
OUCH

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain"
Now we know why I'm here all the time.

"No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up"
Sometimes I think it's being cynical that makes it impossible to keep up. If you don't see the rabbit as prey there's really nothing to hunt.

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."
And I thought noone's more pessimistic than me.

"If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?"
Huahahaha. This one's good. I'm speechless.

"Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?"
Because a lot more people pray than they are schizophrenic.

"Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?"
Why? Do we need one?

" Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse."
Huahaha I like this woman.

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."

"Reality is nothing but a collective hunch"

That's all for today I guess. Reading something wise makes me think if I should maybe refrain from writing and embarrass myself huahahaha.

Grinning Goat at 2/24/2006 10:01:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

What I would order at the gate of hell

Happy meal.
With extra happy.

Grinning Goat at 2/24/2006 03:41:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

It was a little like watching Shrek2

I wanted to write this yesterday but I forgot. When we were at the movie, the scene that resembled Shrek2 was a little striking.

"Is it over yet?" ("are we there yet?")
"no"
::
"Is it over yet?" ("are we there yet"?)
"no"
"how long is this movie exactly?"
"no idea"
"help me ask buika"
"eh how long is the movie?"
"beats me"
"she doesn't know too"
::
"surely it'll be over by now?" ("ARE WE THERE YET?")
"nahhhh"
::
"endddd?" ("HOW ABOUT NOW? ARE WE THERE YET?")
"nope"
::
"this has got to be the end"
(end)
"how do you know that?"
"oh easy. that jack died. seriously I wouldn't know how it's going to end at all if he didn't die"
"you think that's why jack died?"
"has got to be, right?"

Grinning Goat at 2/22/2006 11:10:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Awfully young

It was awesome. See I maybe a sucker for a Black gospel voice but come on, even you have to admit she's good.

Paris.

I don't want to sound like a walking advertisement but Paula actually said, she's like "an energizer bunny, like a battery that's powerful and skip malfunctioning altogether"

Which just shows how talent traverses age. The older contestants weren't even half as good as she was.

Ah talent. Either you have it or you don't. And when you don't no amount of whining is going to help.

And at one point Paula said, "I think all the audience are judges now"

And then I looked at my sister and brother.

"she's not singing she's moaning"
"outttttttt"
"she has a square jaw"
"does she? oh yeah she does"
"the mouth's big eh?"
"noooooooo. nextttttt"

And I thought, hell yea she's right.

Grinning Goat at 2/22/2006 08:14:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Smart mouth

Having a smart mouth around always makes me laugh.
Please don't take whatever is being said out of context though.

The hawker centre we went to. They played really good songs. I gave up squinting to see the digit on the radio.

R: uncle, what radio station is this?
Uncle: 90.5 an old man's radio station

And I almost wanted to thank him after that.

Kaka: you like the smell of secondary school kids?
R: no, not anymore than I like the smell of primary school kids
::
Kaka: adohhh uda bau jgn ribut kenapa
R: huahahahaha


Kaka: what's that?
R: yam. this kind of thing? you can't get mango or blueberry ripple. or choclate chip. you've got to get yam.
Kaka: that makes it very clear
R: what?
Kaka: where your fat comes from
R: huahahahaha

It is actually very enjoyable to be around a smart mouth. Like you won't know what's going to come out their mouth next. Very few people I know can do this.
Kaka's one of course.
Then there's Andri.
and Karol

Grinning Goat at 2/22/2006 03:51:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

If you don't watch it live, this is what you get

Minding my own business in the room. Then I clicked on the play button and heard some woman mumble something about protein.

Kaka: OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD
R: yeaaaaaaaaa it's not like I'm enjoying this
Kaka: eh this is a different person

See? even she knows that.

R: yeah it's not superman anymore it's crazy woman

(or grazy woman depending on who's pronouncing it)

Just some random question before I'm back with the crazy woman.
Which is easier? To hate yourself? To hate people around you? or to hate God?

Grinning Goat at 2/22/2006 12:58:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

The English-sization of an Indonesian word

I'm sorry folks but I have to write this in Indonesian.

Vonka:
di sini kan ada anak indo blasteran, jadi bokapnya bule, nyokap nya indo tapi dia uda lahir n gede di sini trus dia ngomong indonya terbata2 abis tapi yah dia di uni ngambil bahasa indo udah level 3 dpt paling bagus lagi ck ck ck

(by the way she did say all that in one shot. She talks more than I do huahaha)

b.o.r.o:
huahahaha indonya no good? does he still have the indo accent?

vonka:
nopeeeeeeeee. Yang nyebelin banget dia tuh sok membulesasikan basah indo
bete bnanget d
dia ngomong gajah
"ga-jay"
trus tidur

b.o.r.o:
MEMBULESASIKANNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

vonka:
ti-dor
wakakakkakaa

b.o.r.o:
you just MENGINDOKAN that word

vonka:
wakakakakaka i know i know
yah pokoknya gitu la
jadi anak2 indo di sini tuh sebel banget ama dia

So yeah in response to someone english-sizing a perfectly fine indonesian word, let's indosize a perfectly fine english word.

Pon, if you read this please note that i don't edit anything you said huahahaha,it's accurate right down to the last laugh.

Grinning Goat at 2/22/2006 12:50:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The traffic was good

The traffic was good. It took me only four songs to reach home. Which is the standard shopping time kaka will spend in one shop on a good day. On a bad day? I think maybe I'll finish one whole album.

This is funny. Whenever I watched movies with the guys, we always ended up getting bewildered at the end of it. Like there's this unexplainable affinity between us and unclear movie that borders on the boring.

I think Heath Ledger's trying too hard to sound like a southerner. From beginning to end all that's stuck on my mind is how incomprehensible the southern drawl is to my untrained ears. Even the chinese subtitles did better, which is amazing considering the fact that I don't exactly read Lian He Zhao Bao.

Someone wrote in a review: The hype is overwhelming, but are the critics smitten with the film or what it represents?
I'd have to go with the later. It didn't leave me feeling homophobic but it's kind of a hard movie to like.

Anyway.

Do you know why like people flock together? Because it creates this familiar zone of comfort. Nobody steps on a toe because everyone know where the others are going. Like a well-coordinated cha cha. All the ladies in high heels of course. And the men in black suit and shiny shoes. No bow tie.

It's safe. Like when you find out after getting a scolding from your mother for biting your nails that other people actually do it too. It doesn't matter that the habit is good or bad, it's the fact that other people are doing the same thing you did that's comforting.

Like when you're in a movie and there's this ad featuring this woman and you think she looks familiar so you ask your neighbour and receive this familiar blank look that's usually on your face. It doesn't make you feel any smarter of course, it just makes you feel like you belong.

Someone told me once when two friends get too close they'll end up fighting.
That rule? it's not universal.

And the fact that there's an exception? Doesn't sit well with me.

In any case I like the silent and empty Orchard road.

Grinning Goat at 2/21/2006 11:47:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Dogs and cats

Can a dog see the world through a cat's eyes?
Can a cat fills in a dog's shoes?

Can you answer a mathematical question with a biological perspective?
Can you talk about something without really knowing what that something is?

Can you compare a dessert with an appetiser?
Is it fair to compare the two?

Can something be applicable to one person but not to another?
Why is something that irritate someone have the opposite effect on someone else?

Because everybody's different, Ross and in the same way that I can't be pleased at everything, not everything would please you.

or so I was told.

Is there merit in considering to like things you thought you don't like?
Consider the stake. If it's high enough, well then there's got to be some merit in it, right?

Why is something that matters to you doesn't matter to other people and why does the reverse exist?
Can you compare two people with a different take on things?
What's the basis for a fair assessment?

I see that people get sleepy reading this at this time of the day.

I'm going to bed too.
Have a pleasant night.

Grinning Goat at 2/21/2006 03:18:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

CD review

Ok this is going to be fun.

I've told you I've quit the Ridge, right? But for some reason they haven't taken me out of the mailing list (call it bureaucratic lag time) and so I got this mail about how for this MArch's special edition, the writers are supposed to write about a CD in their collection that they regret buying, as opposed to one they'll recommend.

Aha.

And let's see, in my case this is going to be embarrassing.

The CD that's been an ear sore in my collection is this: M2M CD

Why you should never never take an M2M Cd out of the shelves? (I mean the store shelves of course, if it's already in your house shelves then I suppose you're doomed like me)

1. your ears are just too expensive to take this kind of stuff, you should know better

2. Mirror mirror on the wall?? That's as good as lamp lamp on the ceiling.

3. Spongebob Squarepants the movie actually has a better soundtrack. Isn't that reason enough?

Not to mention Sesame Street which makes a whole lot of a higher quality music - God I love sesame street. You know what's the letter of the day today? it's B. And the number of the day is 0. The number zero was moaning to the coach about the sad fate of being the number zero and he complained, when people have something, they'll have ONE or TWO but they only have ZERO when they have NOTHING

And to that the coach replied, "well when people DON'T have bruises, cuts, tests or bad hair day, they have ZERO too" and then the number zero kinda cheered up after that.

Very optimistic man, this coach.

4. The cover's purple. Someone told me it's a gay's colour.

5. The lyrics are so cheesy it contains enough cheese to last jack a lifetime.

6. It takes guts to admit you own one.

7. It's not something to be proud at when you sing "oh my pretty pretty boy" and your kid finishes with a "I want you". Yeaaaa, definitely not the kind of thing you want to pass to the next generation. Don't let the damage accumulate, you know. Keep the bad stuff to our generation, we've done enough damage with the endangered animals anyway.

8. I whine better.

what?

9. Would you buy a CD of 20 tracks that sound like it only has 1 track in it?

10. It's bad. Because I said so.

Grinning Goat at 2/21/2006 01:29:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Monday, February 20, 2006

For some reason

For some reason I feel like writing a lot of things lately. Heh even things as mundane as who my sister supports in Campus Superstar. Or something I've been thinking about. Except that sometimes it feels stupid when I have to admit that my source of isnpiration is the tv.

When I started out writing I had no idea that it'll be like this. I don't know, I thought it'll be more about my opinion on things I guess. But then again I might as well take another class of GP if that's the case, right?

Dale Carnegie. I was never a firm believer in his concepts.

But I read in one of his books before that Abraham Lincoln used to write letters when he's mad. Letters he never did send. One thing it did though, it soothed his anger. He never lost his temper in front of others. Those letters were the sole witnesses of his outburst of temper.

I thought that was remarkable. Maybe even the first step to sainthood, huh?

I kind of like the idea of writing and having strangers read it at random though (even if all they're interested in finding out is how to remove mole the jamie yeo way). Once I had this stranger - a teacher if I remember correctly- who stumbled on my blog and kind of visited again every now and then. Which in a way is flattering, considering all I did was blabber.

An instinct to be heard I guess.

Anyway if you ask me what writing is like. It'll be like having a friend next door.
Always listens. Never complains. Doesn't judge. Well, doesn't always bring out the best in you but is always there to see that you don't go too far. Has a way to pacify and relieve an injured pride. And oh she's amusing too. Yea, writing's like that.

And sometimes. Writing makes me think. It makes me think a lot about things.
Reminds me of this maxim: "teach less learn more". I guess in the same way you can write " write more think more".

and sometimes it even ends up full circle. Nothing gets rationalised and all that's left is just bad tempers and bad manners.

I watched this sitcom just now. Someone said, "if you have something precious, set it free. Or criple it so it can't go far"
Maybe I'm still at that stage where I have to cripple.
Maybe one day I'll learn how to do it the Abraham Lincoln's way.

To let my friend next door be the sole witness of my temper.

But for now, allow me to at least publish. It's hard to see the point in shouting when noone's around. Even if it's just strangers in place of a wall.

A long long way from sainthood.

Grinning Goat at 2/20/2006 11:56:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

teevee

I'm getting desperate so I sat through Lovers in Paris. Now if you've been paying attention to what our local tv's showing you'll know that in Lovers in Paris, there's this two guys.

The uncle and the nephew. I think a lot of people would find the nephew more good-looking but see, I have a problem with his moustache. It's one of those balding moustaches people are trying so hard to grow but doesn't quite make it. Anyway.

R: Wedy, who do you find better looking, the uncle or the nephew?
Wedy: the nephew, without his whisker
R: what's wrong with the uncle?

What's wrong with the uncle? I'd actually opt for the uncle but I find this sick because he looks like this uncle I have - one I'm not particularly fond of.
That's what's wrong with the uncle.

And in the spirit of holiday teevee watching, I'd like to comment on campus superstar.

See, wedy supports this geek.
Wedy: nerdyy where's nerdy?
TV: (showing him at this unfortunate angle that he looks kind of stupider than normal)

Oh and the emcees are bad. Courtesy of my students, I discovered not so long ago that one of them is an indonesian.

Kid: cher, where are you from ah?
R: Indonesia
Kid: cher, you know who's Sugianto?
R: sure, he's this general who was running in the last presidential election but he...
Kid: Nooooo that's not him
R: that's not? Who is he then?
Kid: He's in the one in Superstar.

See, you get all kinds of problems when you are not in tune with their frequency.
The general who was running in the last presidential election.

Jesus.

Maybe I should go out more often. And figure out what a choker and a cookoo is.

Grinning Goat at 2/20/2006 08:04:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

I'm sick of Christopher Reeves

Someone stumbled on my blog using the search word "Jamie Yeo mole removal".
I thought that was hillarious.

Never would I write about mole removal, much less jamie yeo. I don't even know she has a prominent mole, does she? I mean if it's not prominent why the hell would you want to remove it for?

In any case, I'm sick of Christopher Reeves. Well, his lookalike anyway.
He just droned on and on and ON AND ON. And the fact that he resembles Christopher Reeves (well the older and more sagging version of him) doesn't help.

And his voice. How pleasing can the sound of a seemingly-perpetually-sickly man get anyway?

And then he played this animation which I couldn't see because of some copyright issue. I wonder if the real superman gets this uptight over protecting someone's intellectual property. And then there's this particular animation that has no picture and no sound. So all I saw is Christopher Reeves amusing himself watching the screen. The whole scene's not very amusing though.

And I keep getting disconnected at which point Mr.Reeves has to wait. Where else can you get this kind of scenario when superman must give way to singnet?
Almost never happens eh? Not to mention the fact that the Straits Times isn't exactly the Daily Prophets (is that where Clark works?) in the same way a webcast isn't exactly the national geographic.

And then he would give a 5 minute break which more often than not turns out to be 10. So I'd switch on the Calling's wherever you will go (for some unexplainable reason I am addicted to that song) and try to spot myself in the LT, albeit failing totally because well they don't exactly have world-class resolution andddd yea there's my eye too, unless maybe jackjack fell or something but she hasn't been falling that consistently this semester.

And then I got really sick of Mr.Reeves so I decided to dedicate one long entry on the topic. And to deliver this unfortunate news to my mother, about how we're forced to get rid of one papaya (well it used to be there on the table and I remembered Ono complaining how it's rotting and now it's gone so some kind soul must've taken the initiative to do the necessary stuff before the traumatising wartermelon incident repeats itself) while drinking green tea-flavoured soya bean milk (which by the way beats kaka's fried rice but I'm not supposed to tell her that).

Anyway I think Mr. Reeves' 10 minutes is up so i'm going to go back there and sit this through. And maybe wait for someone to come home so I can have another break.

Grinning Goat at 2/20/2006 05:32:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

A Walkover

I don't know if I have a right to be but I'm envious.
It's a walkover.

I can't compete with a saint.

Grinning Goat at 2/20/2006 12:15:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Sunday, February 19, 2006

The mail that never does get sent

Guys
Would you please stop
Stop all this soulmate nonsense
It creates this wall
And I'm always outside the wall

I'll forever be outside the wall

Even if I have to be, for God knows what reason
Can I please at least be spared from a constant reminder
Isn't answering the wrong questions all the time bad enough?
Why do you have to keep harping on it?

Why aren't we all equal?
Why am I being spared all the nonsense?
Tell me
Do I sound way too serious to be on the receiving end of a nonsense?
Or does it just totally slip your mind?

Why do I have to ask to get the details?
Is it so hard to just tell everyone?
If I stop asking
Would I just get left behind?

I don't want to be paranoid
But it's hard not to be
When I know that the moment I stop asking
I stop knowing

When I asked for a favour
And you sounded pissed
Were you really not the least bit pissed?

When you asked for a favour
And I sounded pissed
Do you really think I was pissed?

This soulmate business
It's like this mini exclusive club
Why is having the three of us around make me feel like the odd one out?
Can we just be three and not two plus one?

If these things can be done to others but not to me
Why was I not told the reason before?
Because everything will just sound offensive to me huh?
Because my temper won't be able to withstand the pressure?
Because I'll end up lashing back?

Why Why why
Why am I always the last one to know in the nonsense department

You know why this mail never does make it out?
Because then at least I'll know
the reason for a silent reply
that a silent reply is not because there's no reply in the first place

Grinning Goat at 2/19/2006 11:46:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Please

Does being tuned to a different frequency make you less of a friend?
People you don't spontaneously tell your nonsense to, are they less of a friend?

----------------------------------------------

An outsider inside

There's not a lot of things I can bend
But pray tell that I would come to understand
How such a simple word that blend
so naturally in a conversation between 2 friend
can be so damaging and sound so frank

A simple word

"Soulmate"
A circle of two I can't penetrate
Is this fate
or is this a system to rate?
Does having a different frequency make me less of a mate?

"Soulmate"
Don't say the word in my presence would you please
Please

Because "soulmate", the sound reverberate
In a way you should never underestimate
The division it create
Who are you trying to alienate?

I can't block the sound in my ears
You define soulmate, you define the people outside it
If I'm not in it, where does that leave me?
Don't say the word in my presence would you please
Please

If you really have to
Then please burst my ear drums before you do

You are one and the same
I am a different entity
Is this fact so important
So important to you
I have to be constantly reminded?

Being an outsider inside
it's no easy ride
If you have to decide
Can you please not take side?

Why?
Why am I different?
Why do I have to ask to get an answer
An answer a soulmate need not ask to be told
Is telling me so unecessary you skip it altogether?
People you don't spontaneously tell your nonsense to,
Are they less of a friend?
These non-soulmates
Are they less of a friend?

"Soulmate"
the division it create
Who are you trying to alienate?

------------------------------------------------------------

It's hard not to be paranoid
When the moment I stop asking
I stop knowing

Grinning Goat at 2/19/2006 10:51:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Beaten hands down

A surprisingly high number of them were my age. Awfully young to be there. It's one of those people you meet on the street that'll probably strike you as weird but I guess if it's me I would never have guessed that this place is their home.

What struck a chord in me though is how comfortable they are with one another. The level of spontanity surpasses mine even in my finest hours. They just hold hands. Blow other people's hair. Ask people to hold their comb for them when they go to the toilet. Without thinking. Like it's the most natural thing in the world to do.

Like they always know that it's going to be alright. Like they can perpetually tell that other people won't mind them doing these things to them. Like other people won't get mad at them even when they do mind. How do you do that?

How do you TELL???

See, I never do get it right. I never can tell.

And if this was a level-playing field with all things being equal, I'd be beaten hands down. And I haven't even batted an eyelid. It must feel good to be able to just go and hug people, huh?

How do you do that??

You know how they always say (I'm defining shit very very loosely here) "I'm too old for this shit"? Well I guess in my case it's "I'm too stiff for this shit"

I mean. I see that there's no easy way to put this. Ok here's what I'm going to do. You know those quizes they put in magazines? An idiot's guide to whatever?

Ok let's call it a social retard's guide to self-expression. Sound good enough? Answer this:

1. What's a hey-please-take-my-picture smile and a God-I-haven't-seen-you-in-ages-and-it-feels-damn-good-to-see-you-again smile? how much of your cheekbone shall you raise before one becomes the other?

2. How about when someone asks something but you're not entirely sure that the question is directed at you. Do you smile and answer anyway or do you just acknowledge the question and remain silent? Or do you ask for clarification? But see, if you do this too many times it just gets irritating. And people'll just stop asking. Probably.

3. When someone asks a question and you're thinking about it and forget to answer and have this stupid expression plastered on your face. What do you do then?

4. When someone says something and you give a damn about what's being said but have no particular comments regarding the issue, do you just acknowledge what's being said and perhaps nod a little or do you say ask "is it, really"? or something along the line of "you think?" ? Do you sound like a perfect (pardon me) dumb ass either way?

5. Do you think some people have an in-built hug machinery while some just don't? You know just like how guys don't hug but girls do? Do you think it's inborn? Like when the factory doesn't supply you with one then you'll just end up having none and try to make do without it?

6. Is it better to err on the side of getting offended at non-offensive things or to err on the side of letting the offensive pass you by like a wind against your dry eyes?

7. Do you smile back to a stranger who for no particular reason smiles at you?

8. How do you actually apologise? Do you just poke em in the arms and say the magic word or do you shake hands like what your mama always tells you to do after you break you sister's toys?

A: Sorry
B: It's alright
A: what, no handshakes?

Do you smile or don't you while you're at it?

Or do you write a formal letter of apology compelete with company stamp, a signature and a red ribbon?

9. What's a good smile and what's a creepy smile?

10. How much is smiling too much? or is there no such thing as smiling too much because too much of a good thing is still good anyway?

11. Is it possible to answer a question with neither a yes/no nor a nodd/shake?

12. What separates telling a white lie from being a hypocrite?

13. How much questions can you ask when you're concerned before you will turn into a full-blown busybody?

14. How do you tell if you're stifling someone and depriving him a proper breathing space?

15. Is an excessive show of concern always better than a show of indifference?

16. Do you smile with your teeth or without?

17. When you fall off the bus and someone sees you, do you smile, dust your pants and act like the blood circulation in you knee is normal or do you dust your pants, act like someone else has fallen off the bus and walk straight ahead?

18. Do you punch people's arms when something too funny just happens or do you not?

19. What's being friendly? It's not really all about smiling,huh is it?

20. How do you avoid answering a question you don't want to answer without offending anyone or sounding like this idiot from mars with a very bad and obvious lie without changing the topic?

Education.
I need some education.

Grinning Goat at 2/18/2006 09:46:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Old and sagging

Wedy: ci you're very cookoo eh
R: What's a cookoo???
::
Kaka: see this? I bought this for two bucks
Wedy: What did you buy? oh a choker
R: What's a choker???
Kaka: you don't know what's a choker?
R: No, do you?
Wedy: well yeah?? Ci, you should go out more often.

Ok so maybe I'm growing old. Old and sagging.

By the way there's one part to this conversation that I missed just now.

Kaka: see this? I bought this for 2 bucks
Wedy: Whoaahh kaka's taste's improving
R: Why? is it that good?
Wedy: nah it's just that she used to go for a one buck stuff
R: Huahahahahahhaha

Grinning Goat at 2/18/2006 03:02:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Pedicure

Pedicure is about as therapeutical as writing is to me. Which judging from the frequency of my entries here should be quite an indication of its potency.

Except for the fact that it always looks shit on me.
(yeah shirleen if you read this, this is probably not the kind of thing Grace will write but something that I, however would write with both lack of unease and to some degree pride because it kinds of put a definition to my name. By the way folks, just for your information Grace will call a "calamity" something that I call "a major screw up" at which point i asked her "Isn't a calamity more griveous?". Which is probably why she's top and I'm bottom)

R: sooo wedy what do you think of this (showing her my toes)?
Wedy: (a pained look)erhh
R: it looks shitty huh?
Wedy: well it's not that ug..*ehem*..it's not ugly...
R: I see the importance of the word that.
Wedy: huahahahaha
::
R: Ok this looks shit. Oh waitt maybe it's the feet effect
R: How about now? (wearing a sandal)
Wedy: (a very pained look)
R: No?
Wedy: I'm trying hard not to laugh here
R: eh what happens to sisterly support?
Wedy: Just go and get your nails done outside
R: Nah man. Ok this looks shit. I'm scraping them
::
R: (cutting my nails real short) oh sheeshhhhhhh
Wedy:(staring at my nails) hmmmmm you know if it was your hair, you're having a very straight bang you can draw a line on your forehead
R: I see the level of confidence you have on my pedicure skill
Wedy: you should just you know...let the nails grow out
R: you think?
Wedy: yeah you can come back to it in a month's time
R: at this rate? I think it'll take at least a year
::
Oh and have I told you that I've quit the Ridge? I've went past that stage when I need people to read what I have to write, especially when people can bend my writing to their will. It's too stiffling. Or maybe journalism just isn't my thing.

Anyway I'm just glad somebody invented shoes. So you know, you don't go staring at my straight bang just because you read this entry.

Grinning Goat at 2/18/2006 01:33:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

It's in the blood

Today's Kaka's birthday. This was what happened.

Lady at the counter: Which cake would you like, miss?
Wedy: (pointing) this one please
Lady at the counter: the chocolate mouse?
Wedy: errhh mousse

So you see it's not just me. It's in the blood. Really.

Grinning Goat at 2/18/2006 12:19:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Friday, February 17, 2006

This is the reason

I keep forgetting one simple fact. We're all prone to double standards. Something a stranger does you find irritating doesn't always irritate you. Not when a friend's doing it. Something irritating a stranger does would've earned him a slap but when a friend's doing it to you? well it doesn't earn him a slap. Well it shouldn't. In theory.

"and this is one of the reasons why I can do these things to Po but not to you. Nt bcos ga dkt, but this is the outcome"

That was -what's the word- a relief. Because at least it's something I can attempt to control. The other reason? I can't even dream to change.
I may not be the most trusting people on earth but even I know there's got to be some truth in something that one person told you that another said to you on separate instances.

It kinds of reverberates in your head. As though trying to penetrate through your thick stubborn skull.

I don't know if it's wise to attempt to change a bad temperament. Because -if I were to dramatisize things- it drew blood. Not my blood of course. Others'. Something I may come to regret eventually should I fail. Something other people shouldn't go through I guess. Something they don't deserve.

On the bright side though it's still something I can change.
Because this is the reason.
And this is a good reason. It's a much better reason than the reason I had in mind.
I don't like the outcome. But I like the reason.

Which one? this one, mate. I like this reason. This reason why something that can be done to Po can't be done to me. Of course I hope I can reach that stage when something that can be done to Po can be done to me but this reason would have to suffice for now.

Come to think of it I'd bicker again given a second chance. Maybe not for the second time but I think I need this one fight to know the reason.

An apology is in order of course. But it's cheap.
Because this is the reason. And not any other.

I'm not sure why it should please me so much. It just does. =) (see? I don't draw that many smileys on my entry)

Grinning Goat at 2/17/2006 08:28:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Guess what

You know that talk my friend went to yesterday? the one about wisdom?

Guess what they say about wisdom.

Wisdom is about forgiveness. Oh that should hit the spot alright. Except of course for the fact that I'm not religious enough to go to the talk in the first place.

Something about today:

"hey ross, thanks for your appreciation in my musical interest... it was the first time I've fully arranged for a musical piece, and with your delightand enjoyment in singing them out, though sometimes with quite some memorization pain and my unforgiving scrutiny of 1/4 off the freq tunes. Anyway, thanks ross. Honestly enjoyed my time throughout those music sessions =) despite my complaints for CA1, really =D"

(Actually I find it quite amazing that 1/4 off tunes is detectable by the standard of human ears hahaha but hey I've witnessed a living proof)

Something I just wanted to keep in mind. Because you know there's about 1000 messages in my inbox and I couldn't seem to bear deleting them just yet even if they're making my phone lagg quite badly.

After all isn't what people say to you a reflection of yourself of some sort?
Mistakes you did.
Funny things you did.
Funny things people did. Especially funny things people did.
Nice things people said.
Not so nice things people said.

Ok I should knock the mush out of my head. It's turning into porridge. I'm adled.

Just for the kick of it, I'm posting this. My mates. I thought they looked darn good. They could come in pajamas on sunday and still looked good. They looked good just by coming actually. (I still meant the previous part of course hahaha)



Grinning Goat at 2/14/2006 12:53:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Sunday, February 12, 2006

My grand illusion

The concert that was being played in my head? it's but my grand illusion.

Oh and in my head the light didn't go off when it's not supposed to. Nobody asked, "can we have the lights on?" in the darkness. Nobody told me, "we go by time" (because I swear if I hear that for the third time I may just go by my temper and put someone in her -rightful, may I add- place)

In my head I didn't have to suffer the indignity of walking off the stage without the closing piece of my song.

In my head I didn't make this sarcastic remark to a friend who's about to go to a talk about wisdom. You can go to that talk and explain to me later the wisdom of cutting someone off in the middle of a performance (and without having the decency of looking even the least bit apologetic about it). No, in my head I didn't make such remarks.

In my head I didn't have to even comment about the professionalism of the stage crews and management.

In my head, I didn't stomp off the stage (to be heard by one of my best friends sitting not far away and to have her ask me how come we got cut off). Nah, in my head I didn't do all that. I didn't even walk out on the stage manager for her sheer unethicality too.

In my head I didn't hear myself saying "I'm still bleeding" after a fellow performer mentioned the word "cut".

In my head, I didn't screw up a perfectly fine arrangement done by a very talented friend. Hah and of course in my head I actually got to see the arrangement to its very end.

In my head I didn't have to bow down from the shame of inviting one of the most important people on earth (my three fashion designers and an old friend) only to shove dung down their throat.

BUT, in my head my three fashion designers are as brilliant as ever. They could wonder aloud, hmmm how are you supposed to use hair mousse? and to actually announce out loud that none of them ever really uses it and to still have my faith in their skill intact. Not the least bit diminished.
Like I know that whatever they do it's going to be great. It's just this unshakable faith on their sound judgement.

Jack: nobody does hair like she does. (well I guess technically nobody laughs like she does too)
Po: nobody soothes injured pride like she does.
Karol: nobody defines style as she does.
and
Qutu: I guess she made me feel appreciated. Which is something that a thank you can't even pay back.

And in my head, they are there (even when they have suspected how students' production like this, more often than not turns out to be so shitty it doesn't worth a penny)

And hmm I guess this one's not in my head but curiously, being invited to look at sculptures - and to suddenly have this mini-guided tour with this caucasian woman praising this sculpture featuring distorted human limbs and me trying very hard to both appreciate a distorted limb in the form of a bronze statue and to remind myself how I ended up looking at distorted limb- kinds of soothed my temper.

I mean. Look at this guy. He sculpts distorted limbs and actually have people keep his works in a museum.

Imagine someone who gets cut off in the middle of a performance. What would people do to the works of a person like that?

Grinning Goat at 2/12/2006 08:58:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Sunday, February 05, 2006

cheated

There's no lake. I've been cheated.

Grinning Goat at 2/05/2006 11:57:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Saturday, February 04, 2006

The Ad

Do you remember this advertisement. I don't have Po's photographic memory so I can't quite remember what ad that was or how it went EXACTLY. But basically it went something like this:

Visit to the beauty salon: $378

Dining at the Peak : $249

Bringing your pet dog to the carnaval for perming: $58

Stealing your neighbour's mango tree : $89 (considering the cost of pulling out the roots ya know)

And then towards the end they put this cheesy line (orrrr something to this effect, anyway):

Meeting people all over the world : priceless

That was corny enough, no?
Here here I get a better one.

Talent: you can't buy talent.

And indeed you can't.

We got some very fine specimens here with us. The fact just takes a while to sink in. And when they do, man isn't it humbling.

Someone described my voice very very accurately recently. A word I would have used to describe my own voice, eventually when I could think of the word myself.

Rendah. Cegak.

The last part was especially true, I think. In fact sometimes it sticks out like a sore thumb.
But today if I were bottom, I've found my top.

It was amazing. We don't even have to harmonise and we sounded good. In my opinion. (I am reminded of Po's maxim: "self-praise is no praise but an international disgrace" and am ashamed)

Think bass meets treble.
It was a little like me thinking all along, hey how come I have this kind of voice and there's nobody else at the other end of the spectrum and then suddenly I see this head protruding at the other end.

The highlight of this semester. I realised I haven't had fun in such a long time I'm turning into this boring person I can't look at the mirror without it breaking. And that would be bad luck for 7 generations, no?

Let me just be corny for today eh. I can think of some more analogy.

If we were nail polish, I would be base and she would be coat (shir would be the colour I think)
If we were cheesecakes, I would be crust and she would be the icing.

Right and left.
Congee and century egg.
vanilla and chocolate.
milk and cookies.

banana and pajamas
one piece
pokemon
telletubbies

Bleah I'm going off tangent. Well I'm off to bed. My dad has just discovered this new-found hoby of waking up real early on sunday morning and drag each and everyone of us for a walk.

But there's going to be a lake. So yea plenty to see. If I can't go to the beach, a lake will do. I think.

For now anyway.

Grinning Goat at 2/04/2006 11:46:00 PM pontificated

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{buzzz out}

Thursday, February 02, 2006

One song different genre

Ah. It seems like my inspiration to write always comes at the ungodly hour of the night recently. It must be all the printing I've done, staring at pages and pages of paper and black ink.

Anyway the audition just now was, let's just say I'd like to think of it as a mini concert. I kind of like the way people have a dreamy expression while shir and I are at it. If there's anything better than singing (hah! I've said the same thing about writing) it's being appreciated.

The thing about talking and making a conversation is that you don't actually have to be good in whatever you're talking about. I know it's a pretty odd thing to say since I'm well past 20 and should know better. But the fact that you don't have to be good is pretty liberating.

I mean I can be an out of pitch low grade singer and still talk about music.
I can be this computing dummy and talks about html.
I can be this fashion-blind average dodo and still talks about how other people dress up.

And talking to Shir about music was at best invigorating and at worst humbling.

See, like what I told her, when I signed u for this thing I had only a rough idea on how I want the performance to be like. Then she came along (well, actually I dragged her) and suddenly I had this very vivid imagination on how it's going to turn out. It's like she puts this grand idea in my head. And when I told her this, she asked "so exactly how rough was your idea in the beginning?" and I said "very rough".

The magic about music is that one song can have so many different genres.
Imagine a folk song with a jazz feel to it. Or a bossa nova.

On my part, the realisation was a bit slow in coming. It was only becoming very obvious to me when I was supposed to perform Bengawan Solo. I came for practice without that many ideas about how they're going to arrange the song. I just sort of came, knowing the lyrics and the melody and that was all.

And then one of the guys started to strum his guitar with a bossa nova feel.
And when I sang with that accompaniment I actually subconsciously changed the way I sang it. It's like milk. You can put it in a dough mix and it'll be part of a cake. You ferment it and it'll become yogurt. Or you can just drink it straight.

Very versatile. Just depending on how creative you want to make it to be. It's this whole lot of possibilities I didn't realise before. Which, in a way put me to shame.

You know what's the mark of a great singer in my eye?
It's the ability to improvise.

And I don't mean it in a strictly jazz ways (which according to shir was at times a reflection of the musician's mood he himself can't explain and so it really is forgivable if you can't appreciate).

I mean this ability to enter a song without preparation and yet with equal grace and ease. (don't even talk about pitch) And to actually think, hmmm let's change the style of the song and to actually do it.

And it's inspiring to see the finer specimen of our people. I can't wait for 12th of Feb.

Grinning Goat at 2/02/2006 02:05:00 AM pontificated

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{buzzz out}