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Thursday, September 30, 2004 Surely it's not just about imitating? I realise a large portion of learning a new language lies in imitating. That's right. To imitate how the english-speakers pronounce their words. To imitate how my french tutor pronounce her words. It's all about imitating, because hey the easiest way to learn is to follow what people are doing- people who've got the hang of it. I remember how Zaff in the leaf school used to critisize the way I pronounced poor. "Poorrrrr" "Ross, it's 'poor', stop purring" or when I talked too fast. "Ross....BREATHE..." It's the whole tongue curling thing most Indonesians do. Heh but it helps in learning french because by God, learning how to erh...pur was very much part of it. I think it helps that most of my sec two mates I was close too was english-speaking; literally- in everyday conversation; (or perhaps I chose to be with them ?? because at least english was more managable than chinese and I wouldn't be completely lost in a conversation nor would I need to keep asking people to repeat their sentences which probably was enough to make anyone want to bruise me) and had no qualms about correcting me. Hell, I couldn't even pronounce oven correctly back then. And there was this classmate of mine whom I used to look up to because she has such a way with language. English that is, not so much Malay. But I used to think that hey, we can switch place anytime. I haven't seen her much since. Ah it's just sad, because Zaff and her were those very people who made me improve, appreciate the language, who perhaps indirectly influenced me, change me from someone who hated writing to someone who loves writing. Once she was my opponent in this debate. And to tell you frankly it was intimidating, to have someone I look up to debating with me. Psychological barrier they say. It was an experience. I remember shifting my weight ever so often hoping nobody would notice me shaking up there. There was this news spreading that being the fourth speaker, she'd slam on each one of our arguments. So my best defense was to imitate, to slam on each one of them in my closing statement. And as it turned out she DIDN'T! Ah well, she was my bench mark. They probably would never read this but I guess you - my readers - will know what they've done by just being my classmates in the (stupid) leaf school (with a stupid rule). Grinning Goat at 9/30/2004 11:32:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Blooper Singapore's but a piece of a snot Guess who's making that same mistake someone brilliant from my country was making. It used to be a small red dot on the world map, now it's a piece of snot. You'd think someone in that position should know better. The word snot and red dot taken out of context or not. Heh. And Channel News Asia isn't only capable of having a sense of humour, it's capable of being sarcastic too. "Now, we'll contact Yao Ming in Taipei to find out why the Minister was apologising to the Taiwan people but not to Singapore" Grinning Goat at 9/30/2004 01:26:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Wednesday, September 29, 2004 It won't be in your transcripts The problem with answering MCQs is that instead of relying on the facts at hand to answer questions, we tend to go round deducing. It's like statistics and maths. Heh, isn't it supposed to be Principles of Genetics? Why did I end up deducing things? (1)...................88686u60fnkfnlkc........ (2).....................Hfhwhg8hgwt909r....... (3)....................YH(*Y(Hyu9jfigi........ (4)....................Y*H*HNN(GGIJO(U(...... A. (1) and (4) are correct B. (2) and (3) are correct C. (3) and (4) are correct D. (1) only is correct Say, I know for a fact that (3) is definitely wrong and I have no idea about the rest, I will eliminate option B and C because it contains (3) in it (regardless of the information they contain) so I'm down to option A and D. Even then, (1) is definitely going to be part of the answer so we can skip analysing the information there altogether, and just determine whether (4) is correct. See the problem? We ended up rationalising our answers based on mathematical deduction, not so much on verification of information on the topic of Genetics... That was what I and probably the rest of the cohort was doing. There's no such thing as study smart. Study smart = SPOTTING ; which is hardly constructive for the learning process... or Study smart = Getting hints from teachers/lecturers/friends with psychic ability ; which is deadly because in real life NOONE's going to give you hints unless they want presents from you... Study smart = Bootlicking the teachers....(wait, I thought bootlicking involves no studying????) Like I said, there's no such thing as studying smart. That's a foolish concept because you can't measure knowledge and knowledge isn't about getting it right in your tests. The informations and knowledge that you retain won't be reflected in your transcripts. Or your cert. Or your testimonials. One thing I learnt yesterday as I was reading the Genetic textbook for my test was that scientists go a long way just to prove something that may not even be free from loopholes. There will always be loopholes if you only know where to look. Someone can just come up to you one day with with some evidence that goes against what you discovered/your hypothesis/what you believed in. It's like you suddenly get a door slammed at your face. Einstein was that someone. And that got him the nobel prize. (Yes, he did NOT win nobel because of E= mc square. He got it because of his work on photoelectric effect that gave a totally new perspective on waves - that went against popular belief back then) A True paradigm shift will never be achieved if we don't challenge currenct perceptions. Ah anyway, after the mind-boggling test, we went down to this sushi place for some lunch before another mind-boggling lecture by a lecturer who likes to talk to himself. The thing about putting a group of Indonesians together in one restaurant- heh actually, any place will do - is that they won't be able to shut up for just one minute. They'll always find some things to laugh at, make fun of or talk about -loudly; usually - that is if you happen to mix the right people together of course. R: Heh, they play NSync song. Horrendous. Shir: (the pop idiot, haha) Who??....MArc Anthony? Karol: HUahahah that's damn far man. Nsync and Marc Anthony. Shir: My limited knowledge on anything pop. Heh Karol: It's as far as comparing me with Miss Universe... R: HUahahahahha, Miss Universe eh? That's far indeed man...hahaha... KArol: or Miss Singapore... R: Now now... that won't be THAT far..... I tried an accapela duet with Shir, and man I can't wait to do it again. She can harmonise spontaneously. Man, she can even turn Twinkle Twinkle Little Star into such an exciting song. Ever heard the soul version of it? THIS is the kind of song they should introduce kids too. Not just the usual twinkle2 little star, God THAT was irritating. And on the way to to the lecture hall, 5 minute late as it was... R: Why are we strolling? Po: We can't be arsed... R: Heh, the bus comes! Can you guys run??? Well, don't stroll at least? And we managed to come about an hour and 45 minutes before the lecture ended. Not before making a stop at the toilet. Another trait that's very much Indonesian. Sometimes I wonder if small bladder size is genetically inherited by the whole population across the archipelago. Heh. Grinning Goat at 9/29/2004 08:24:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Stand up for your country dammit Is it worth standing up for? Don't force-feed me this saying by Napoleon, "Ask not what...". Napoleon isn't always right. Heh. There are really dozens of resons why I shouldn't. 1. Being treated as second class citizen's not exactly a very good feeling 2. Having a constitution that specifically asks a presidential candidate to be of the native descent doesn't help things. 3. The riot. Don't "oh, that..." me. It never was just a that and never should be. It's ironic that I won't be here without it. 4. Our opinions don't matter in the grand scheme of things. We may complain about corruption,nepotism and what not (because God knows there are a lot to be complained about) but it doesn't and won't change things. 5. It's hard to find anything positive in the very epitome of this saying "Never preach what you can't do" 6. Stupid language that gets abused beyond recognition. Nobody speaks proper Indonesian, including me. It's probably a fortunate coincidence Chairil Anwar's born there. 7. You can get robbed practically anywhere and anytime. (Literally or not) 8. You can get killed just by following a doctor's instructions. 9. Ditto by accidentally hitting someone while driving, even if that someone just has a grazed arm... 10. Shitty currency with shitty rate of exchange 11. Try being a chinese who can't speak chinese or a Hindi who can't speak Hindi or a malay who can't speak malay... 12. Isn't it just about ENOUGH that people have to ask your nationality in application forms etc, not to mention that look people give you on the street that makes your finger so itchy you want to poke their eyes?? The reasons why I should 1. I'm born there???? 2. Most of my relatives are there. But I suppose shitty relatives don't count, so I wonder if this is valid. 3. The food's good (when you don't kill yourself getting bad stomach day and a bad diarrhoea...heh) This entry is not unprovoked, but oh well let this just be another bad review in the sea of horrendous reviews my country gets if you haven't got enough of them from the media. The irony of it all is that sometimes I do feel obliged to defend it when a foreigner insults my country, like shitty teachers so tactless you'd start wondering if NIE should start a class in diplomacy. Like, WTFF?? Insult your own country man... Grinning Goat at 9/29/2004 01:58:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Mass toothbrushing I find mass toothbrushing fascinating. It has this primary school-ish quality to it. Which is weird because I don't remember doing any toothbrushing in the kindergarten or primary school. The spirit of togetherness you know. Damn, am I being weird? R: Hey, the next time you're going to brush your teeth, knock on my door eh? A: Is that a fettish that you have? Grinning Goat at 9/29/2004 01:47:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Tuesday, September 28, 2004 I'm such an expert I think I have it in me to brew tea. I brewed such fine tea. It's so bitter. And man did it taste good. So what if it's still dark brownish after the second and third and fourth brew? So what if I probably have to recycle the tea for a couple of days just to make it lose its colour? Strong tea makes a good drink. Heh. Grinning Goat at 9/28/2004 10:38:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Not what it sounds like I was having my dinner in the dinning hall, munching away when my neighbour almost made me choke and bit my ulcer-infested lips (Dammit) Singaporean: Hey today's the mooncake festival! China woman: It's NOT!! It's called the autumn festival Singaporean: Heh, there's no difference... China woman: well, we don't celebrate because of the mooncake Singaporean:... Hahahahaha. Heh. Okay I'll keep it short then. Make it up with some interesting long entry some day. Like when I'm not half dead from trying to keep my eyes open. Wait and one more thing, my neighbour just announce this upcoming electricity saving competition for the whole hall. This was what she said: "PEOPLE, WE'RE HAVING ELECTRICITY SAVING COMPETITION FOR THE WHOLE HALL!! USE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN FOR THIS MONTH OKAY???" "errrhhh???" "WE'RE BOUND TO LOSE BUT WE CAN GRAB THE BEST PROGRESS AWARD. SO USE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN THIS MONTH AND USE LESS NEXT MONTH!!!" What the.......... And they're going to have that stupid angel mortal game again. Damn how I hate that game. THAT game ISN'T about writing, THAT game ISN'T about making friends (You'd forget your bloody angel/mortal before the day's up. Heh) It's an objective-deprived, mindless, money/time-consuming imbecillic game. Damn. Should I ignore my mortal? Heh Grinning Goat at 9/28/2004 07:07:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Monday, September 27, 2004 Trying times Trying to study. Trying not to sleep. Trying to dope myself with a dose of caffein. Trying to smell the coffee. Trying to breathe. Trying to convince myself breathing through my mouth is better than not breathing at all. Trying to convince Rossli I could do the diaphragm exercise with a blocked nose (No, it's not working). Trying to tell them, no I'm not crying, I just have the flu - why would I cry??. Trying not to blow my nose off. Trying not to throw a chair to this guy's face- this irritating guy who was talking (TALKING, not mumbling, mind you) to himself, practising his French oral out loud (WTF)in the LT when people were trying to study/sleep, keeping up this nonsensical, mindless chatter throughout the ride in Jackie's car Jackie almost had a fit, not realising we were so pissed you could see fumes coming out of our heads. Trying to control my hand because all it wanted to do was stuff socks inside his mouth - for the benefit of the society in general. Trying not to snap at him at every opportunity. Trying not to scream in frustration. Trying not to cheer too loudly when he finally got out of the car. (Amen??) Trying not to sleep. Trying to stay alive. Trying to study. Grinning Goat at 9/27/2004 10:32:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} A bloody blunder A certain distant relative of mine (even I'm not sure how we're really related...) recently came up with this brilliant idea to send his son (who's been studying here since 1992) back home. Yes, home. You know where home is. Heh. Seriously I can't see a stupider mistake. He (the son)would eventually go into business anyway, so what's with spending (actually, wasting is the word the father used. Akkh how stupid can one gets??) four years getting a degree when you can go earlier ( to enter the business world that is)... The way I see it, there are a LOT OF PROBLEMS with this argument. Geez. 1. If by some stroke of bad luck the father's businesses fail, the kid will be left with practically NOTHING. No money. Not even an accreditation. As sad as it may sound, an A level cert doesn't worth much in the eyes of employers when you're looking for a job (presumably a white collar job) 2. Getting a degree is a waste of time???? This is not even worth arguing for. Especially not in front of someone who doesn't appreciate the value of education. 3. Going into business, without any PRIOR knowledge before that? Isn't that akin to a carreer suicide- if your dad's not the owner of the company ??? I mean come on, the closest you get to business in a JC is econs. (Entrepreneur club is bullshit. I was in one, THAT's how I know) Everybody knows econs is all theory, the practice tends to come out different. So how's he going to be helpful to the company in the first place??? 4. He's been spending half his life here. The primary school. The secondary school. JC. Quitting now is like starting to stroll when you're approaching the finishing line in a race. Not only is it a stupid move, it's a sad one. All those years wasted. He might as well not go to a primary school back in 1992 and start working then eh? Heh. THAT'll save a helluva lot more time!! 5. What if the son doesn't even want to go into business. Oh I guess what the son thinks isn't important, it isn't his future at stake after all and fathers are always right. Hah, but who am I to say anything really? I'm but a mere life science undergraduate who knows nothing about corporate business, who's so green I actually believe that education means anything at all... Damn I'll make one hell of a daughter if I'm in his position. Heh. Grinning Goat at 9/27/2004 01:43:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Sunday, September 26, 2004 Ignorance knows no limit R: Hmm....hey do you know where Bruxelles is? ABC: in Germany I think R: You sure? ABC: I don't know for sure R: How bout Geneva and Lisbon? ABC: Lisbon is in Portugal. Geneva I think is in France R: France?? I think it's in Switzerland. Isn't it? ABC: Yes, Geneva and Switzerland are in Sweden R: ????? But ....Switzerland is a country in itself! ABC: Ah yea, Switzerland. Geneva's in Switzerland... And Bruxelle is in Belgium R: Yep, Belgium If you notice, people don't tend to get MAdrid and Lisbon wrong. Yep, that's where the football team comes from... Heh Grinning Goat at 9/26/2004 11:37:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Channel News Asia We decided to do the presentation in a david letterman/channel news asia talk kind of way. Power point's just going to be plain boring, although yes it's going to be there. A skit will ALWAYS be lame (Sometimes I wonder if lameness is what makes a skit a skit...)especially with mediocre acting skills.....Putting up a video will be hard because we're not tech-savvy enough. Using MAcromedia flash- ditto, same problem. Setting up a website, not enough time for me to work out the template and smoothen out bugs that're bound to be there. So, yep a talk show it is... Core competence. Sheesssh, yesterday I was like WTH is THAT?? And now I'm supposed to be this expert who'll explain to everybody what it means in simple terms and language that's easy to comprehend. But hell, I think I'd enjoy being a Glenda Chong/Lisa Ang/Timothy Goh (take your pick...as long as it's not Ken Teh or Yao Ming...heh) wannabe for that one day. Grinning Goat at 9/26/2004 07:47:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Will it change? I'm not supposed to be here blogging with FOUR bloody tests on my feet for next week. (the most frustrating one being: researching on core competencies and MNCs that diversify. Heh) But I'm just trying to stay alive, yes? Well, I'll keep it short then. Tell me, will the genre of a song change if we change the instruments and the singer while keeping the melodies and arrangements the same??? Grinning Goat at 9/26/2004 03:22:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Saturday, September 25, 2004 If only Principles of Okay, the last one's pushing my luck too far. Yes, I'm not exactly in a very healthy mental state. Grinning Goat at 9/25/2004 04:42:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Friday, September 24, 2004 Idle chat in the library It's interesting to talk to a person who's passionate about music, who doesn't listen to junk that is pop (Not all of course, just the Britney kind) or techno (not much of a fan of Kylie Minogue obviously) that can talk at length about the technical aspects of the music, sings you a couple of verse of the song in tune, someone who despite all that remains modest and recommends you great songs even if it's in a library and we're supposed to be studying. Shir is a jazz/blues/motown/classical music fan. Sheesh I just know that. And listening to her talk about music. It was education. Why do old songs seem to bear more weight? They bite. People still know the Beatles/Carpenters/Eagles now so i guess it's proven that their music lives on but why am I not sure if current musicians' music will survive the test of time like its predecessor? What makes then and now different? "It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing" (Eva Cassidy). Is that it? I finally find a friend who can duet with me!! Man I "L-O-V-E" (Nat King Cole) Accapela."Ain't no sunshine" (Bill Withers) without it! It's "heaven" (Eva Cassidy). I can name a couple more "If you want me to" (Ginny Owens). See? I've been paying attention. Watch out for an accapela group called ShiRoss in the near future. Hahah. Grinning Goat at 9/24/2004 09:00:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Lousy TA on the loose Just to get the abbreviation straight. TA = Teaching Assistant One TA is assigned to each bench to enhance the learning process in the lab. Heh. My TA for Principles of Genetics lab is this China guy. He barely gives instructions. In fact, I remember specifically that on my FIRST lab session, all the instructions he had for us was "You can start". And we tried to hide our shock as we stared longingly at the next bench whose TA was kind enough to give specific layout as well as explanations on why certain steps were done in the experiment. MY TA barely speaks English. So whenever we grew desperate and asked him something, we would get #&@!#%$^^%&()&() in response, after which we would be forced to translate that to english (hopefully getting it right) and waited for his head to nod/shake. Or for him to say yes (Yep, he's capable of saying yes or no) I'm sure NUS isn't being a cheapskate and hire unqualified TAs. I'm sure he's qualified and all that. He's getting his MAster now after all. But having a degree doesn't mean you can teach. Or that you have adequate skills to communicate using a universal language understood by all that doesn't require translations... And he even gave us the wrong answer sometimes which made me lose faith. Sometimes I just ask him a question to compare his answer to the TA of the next bench's, just to prove how unreliable this guy really is. And laugh to myself. Oh and he is NOT reliable alright. I couldn't help raising my eyebrow everytime he tried to bluff his way out, giving us false answers. OR better still, he admitted he didn't know the answer. Somehow I prefer honesty. You either get an average Dodo, a brilliant chap or a dumb ass as your lab partner. See, if you get an average Dodo, nothing will happen. You won't deprove, but neither will you improve. You both just plod along. If you get a brilliant chap, you tend to rely too much on the fella. BEcause he's the all knowing source of information who understands the rationale of everything and who doesn't mess up his prac (and probably think you're stupid). The good thing that can happen would be: His intellect/dilligence rubbing off on you (unlikely) or you studying harder than ever as he is stressing you out (even more unlikely) or he's generous enough to let you be his personal photocopier come report-writing time. (Wooohoo..Heh) If you get a dumb ass, you'll improve a great deal, because YOU will do EVERYTHING. You'll be the brain behind the machine that your dumb ass lab partner is. He waits for you to tell him what to do or for the TA to tell him what to do, which is quite a feat considering the kind of TAs we've been getting... (perhaps wait for someone else taking over the job of the TA? Fat chance of that happening) "So.....you've dipped the rod to the bacterial solutions right?" "..." "Erhh...RIGHT???" "Oh you mean we're supposed to???" ???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And there goes the whole experiment... Ah I shall not tell you too much about my lab partner for Genetics... I shall tell you about my partner for Biochem though. He's this Indian guy. He has a thick spectacles with a black-rim, black hair (Ahhh!!! He looks like me...Heh) Nah, he looks like he knows what he's doing. He sounds very convincing when he's arguing with me. So everytime he asks me a question and I answer and he rebukes me with his convincing but probably false arguments....he would confuse the both of us. It was like, hell I thought I knew these things. Until he came along and asked weird questions. He'd probably convince me into believeing the wrong thing if I'm not careful. Stubborn as he is with his (sometimes false) arguments... So now I just give him my answers and that's it. IF he asks weird weird questions I'll just get the hell out (away, I mean....the lab session isn't over yet...). Besides how are you going to convince someone who's so set in his thinking? It's like talking to a wall. Heh. But at least he knows what he's doing. So we have no "Woupsss...I didn't dip it in the bacterial solutions" incident in the lab. Grinning Goat at 9/24/2004 03:28:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Thursday, September 23, 2004 I keep my mind on my money, money on my mind I was signing my tuition grant today. And these bunch of people in front slowed down the bloody process because the mother refused to sign. WTH? Sign the damn paper lady. GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR What irritates me the most is this: 1. The hen-pecked husband just sat around doing nothing, oblivious to the fact that he's probably the more intelligent of the two. He probably was DONE signing ( a sign of an intellectual prowess. Heh), is it so hard to bloody convince his wife to do the same? 2. Why did she come in the first place? She probably came knowing she had to sign the TG papers, right? So isn't it kind of too late to back out now??? Or the daughter lied, mother...there's something fascinating in NUS you just have to see....How convincing a lie is that??? 3. She's preaching something. I don't know what, but she's lecturing everybody. Probably trying to convince the irritated malay lady who was the witness that her being unreasonable was for the good of everybody's soul. It just doesn't make sense. if she doesn't want to part with her money, all the more she should sign the damn papers right? The alternative would be HER paying, instead of the daughter. Heh. The malay lady should just start ignoring them or push them to the back of the queue. Hell, that'll be swift justice Grinning Goat at 9/23/2004 09:03:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Something that cracked me up in the middle of the night My gunbound friend from Brazil, he often recommends me songs. And most of his recommendations are good. And he often sends me songs too. And recently besides sending me songs, he sent me this file with a weird name on it. It's a video of him burping. ?????!!!!!!!!!! His idea of a joke..... Fael: So, do you like it? Huahahaahaha R: Erhh....I guess it's better than the sound of a fart.....Hahahaha Fael: I got a couple of those too, would you like some?? R: (Why would anyone record their fart???? so I asked a stupid question) Do you fart often??? Fael: Asians are weird... Trust me, I don't usually ask such a stupid question.... I'm sorry but I think I just tarnished the image of Asians in front of Brazilians.... Grinning Goat at 9/23/2004 02:12:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} When they say personal responsibility, they mean PERSONAL. No metal railings. No half-height barriers. No pushing back the yellow line. No slowing the train down as it arrives at the station. Responsibility for safety is a personal matter, the LTA and SMRT Corporation said yesterday after deciding not to adopt measures that have been proposed by the public... Say amen to that everybody. Isn't it just sad the way the public needs to be reminded that such a thing as personal responsibility actualy exists? It's about as sad as knowing stealing is wrong from your CME book instead of from your parents. Somebody gets killed by the train. Akkkhhh!!! Our public transport isn't safe. Install metal railings! Reinforce it with concrete if need be. Ah hell, but then our kids may just run around and hit those walls and bleed to their death. Hmmm, maybe pad those railings with cotton balls?? Ah but some kids are allergic to cotton balls, they can get an acute asthma attack and die!! Damn, let us all just stay home. Ah shite, we might slip and fall to our death!!! Let's just stay in bed. Nothing can happen when you just lie flat on your back, right?? Oh shucks, the roof might collapse!! What a dangerous world we live in.... Perhaps we should just kill ourselves and save those courageous people who wander out there all the trouble?? "If a person is determined to jump in front of the train, one foot away from it, nothing can stop it, at whatever speed," said SMRT Corp President. Well said, Sir. But perhaps, you should simplify the language a bit, in case some member of the society can't comprehend the message behind it? This is bad. They refuse to install those safety railings! I think I'll just stay home in my bed, offering my most sincere prayer to the Holy One that the roof won't collapse. Grinning Goat at 9/23/2004 01:08:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Wednesday, September 22, 2004 I'm outdone I was browsing through Chairil Anwar's poems. And by God, it'll take more than a mere Life Science undergraduate to translate. Check this out, guys. Take this challenge. Translate this: "SAJAK PUTIH" by Chairil Anwar Bersandar pada tari warna pelangitidak membelah... I seriously AM stumped. Grinning Goat at 9/22/2004 01:20:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Our brand of literature Here's another poem by Chairil Anwar. (I picked this because it's short and relatively easy to translate. Heh. yea, so I'm a cheater) "Tuhanku" by Chairil Anwar DICLAIMER: I can't be arsed to type that again. Scroll down. Come on, move your lazy pinkies. Heh "My God" by Chairil Anwar I hold no shape nor form Shattered My God I roamed in a foreign land My God In your door I knock I can't turn away. Written:13 November 1943 (by Chairil Anwar) Translated: 22 September 2004 (by Roeswita Leono Liaw) A lot of good the Indonesian-English dictionary did. Trust me, improvising is the way to go. Stupid dictionary. Heh Grinning Goat at 9/22/2004 01:15:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Tuesday, September 21, 2004 Prelim Week I was cold and hungry and cold. And cold, and cold. It just HAD to rain everytime I went to my lazy ass student's house to teach, which was just about once in a blue moon. And it's always heavy. It's never a drizzle. There IS something about that house. Heh. No, I wasn't in a very jolly mood. Ri: Ci, why are you so scary today? R: (straight-faced) Am I? That's good. Now take out your books. :: Ri: (some crappy jokes....) R: (straight-faced)Are you done? Can we move on to equation of the line now? Didn't take much to not laugh at his usual histrionics. I just had to remind myself that I was hungry and I was cold and I still came hoping to make a difference in his grades. I have a hunch this is one impossible quest. The question isn't even "What have you failed". Hell, the question is "WHat have you passed". And the answer wasn't very encouraging I'm afraid. O level's just a mere few months away for goodness sake. And look how he still struggles with the simplest of factorisation. It's driving me up the wall. GGGRRRRRR. And it's not his intellectual capability that's stopping him. It's his lazy arse. I enjoyed coming just to watch him eat and play and watch Tv while getting paid at the same time. Hell, it's good. Blah. PASS AT LEAST ONE SUBJECT GODDAMIT! It's frustrating. Shit. He can fail all he wants. Just get the equation of the lines straight. GGGGRRRR. And at the end of the lesson, Ri: This is th most serious lesson we've ever had. R: Good. I'll write about the Rocker's supper some other day. I want a hot shower and I want to eat. Heh. Grinning Goat at 9/21/2004 07:15:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Being realistic breeds pessimism Oh so I'm being pessimistic now. Like I choose to be pessimistic. When you really really look at the big picture, you'll be more pessimistic than even me. MOUNTING, heh no.. I meant MOUNTING debts. Tell me, who's going to pay for all that shit? Huh? Future generations??? It sure as hell isn't going to be me. And don't even give me all that arguments about how we have all that natural resources (that's for them to tell the kids in primary school. To brainwash them while they're still young and green and impressionable and don't know shit about the stark reality of it all), because my friend if you've been reading the papers, you'll realise that at the rate we're going we'll be left with nothing. Yes, you still see the big corporations standing tall, but who own them? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. It's a freaking time bomb if you ask me. And those naive people at friendster who painted such rosy pictures. I______ is a freaking awesome country, S______ is such a shitty country. THIS COMPARISON, WHAT IS IT BASED ON??? Do they even glance at the statistics? BAseless assumptions. STOP BEING SO BLOODY NAIVE. It's almost painful to see such stupidity still persisting. They deserve to be butchered. And I thought all along genocide's bad. Heh. It's about time they face the reality UNMASKED. They live in a shitty country. Period. DON'T CONFUSE BEING RICH AND COMFORTABLE WITH LIVING IN THAT BLOODY COUNTRY. BEING RICH AND COMFORTABLE ANYWHERE IS GOOD, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHICH COUNTRY YOU LIVE IN. And most of you rich bastards have your brilliant dads and moms who made it big. THEY are the one who make your life beautiful, you moron. It has NOTHING to do with your country. If you want to paint such rosy pictures. Paint the pictures of your moms and dads. GIVE THE CREDIT WHERE IT IS DUE, AND NOWHERE ELSE. DON'T BE SO FREAKING STUPID. And for the idiots out there, I have nothing against rich people. I have something agaisnt STUPID people. Get it? No? Well then you can screw yourself. And if you're smart enough, you won't even ask me what am I doing holding on to that citizenship if I loathe my country so much. Well, here's the answer pal: I'm in the process of getting my degree, UPON COMPLETION OF WHICH I shall convert. MAkes sense? Asshole. Grinning Goat at 9/21/2004 01:06:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Monday, September 20, 2004 Your mark in the world I wanted to start this entry with this malay proverb, but I got the wrong proverb and had to actually ask someone to get things straight. Heh. I might as well do without the bloody proverb. I'm going to sidetrack for a while. I need to write this down to let off some steam. One of the candidate actually made this statement: " If the election goes well and there's no foul play involved, I shall be the winner" So if he/she lost, then something's wrong? How convenient. Just blame everybody else but yourself. WHAT KIND OF A FREAKING LOGIC IS THAT??? They say, let's take a risk. Enough of this state of being stagnant. I'm not implying anything, but taking a risk means trying out something new. Something that can be disastrous. Something that can make something horrible happens again. Who is there to guarantee it won't happen again? I've had it being a minority who's marginalised. Being marginalised is one thing. I sure as hell won't stand being abused because of my race. I DIDN'T CHOOSE to be Chinese. I'll have noone staring at me with that perverse look full of hatred. I'll sure as hell NOT have anyone giving my kids THAT look. I'll kill someone before that happens. Try me. I'm sick of the system. I can't change it. Neither do I want to. I'd probably get myself killed before anything constructive happens. Corrupt system corrupts the people in it. Corrupt people on the other hands have to show deferance in a good system to survive. To my fellow countrymen: educate yourself. Get yourself a degree. Get the hell out. GET THE HELL OUT. Education my friends, is the key. Go to school. And while you're there don't screw up. You can be in whatever school- good, bad- just don't screw up. Get your priorities straight. Don't end up living in a country you will regret living the rest of your life in. Don't say I don't tell you this. That's my advice. Get a bloody degree. Get the hell out. I'm jumping in my bed as I write this. I'm so full of hope. I can't be more enthusiastic in hearing the results. I'm brimming with optimism. Heh. Blah. I should change the title. I'm supposed to talk about the Rockers' supper. Look where anger has brought me. Grinning Goat at 9/20/2004 11:39:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Sunday, September 19, 2004 Writing in exchange of making pies I've written the translated version of Chairil Anwar's poem down there. Do have a look if you missed it. Tomorrow we'll have the senior supper for the Rockers. And I'm supposed to bake some pie and make some jelly. But I think I shall not risk my reputation by whipping up shitty desserts so I struck a bargain with Kaka. Kaka will take care of all the cooking stuff and I'll write her this article which is part of her assignment. Hmmm...good bargain.... Tomorrow's polling day. And since my dad has made a bet with his friends that a certain presidential candidate will emerge the winner, we'll have to drag our ass there to vote. Even if we don't have absolute faith in the candidate's political influence/capability/intelligence/moral integrity/leadership quality. Ok, let's hope our four votes make a difference in the grander scheme of things. So we don't lose money for nothing. Heh. In the meantime, I'll write the article with the smell drifting from the kitchen. Grinning Goat at 9/19/2004 11:43:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} AKU by Chairil Anwar Kalau sampai waktuku I just thought it's a meaningful poem. Hmm...let me try to erh...translate it... DISCLAIMER: TRANSLATION DONE ENTIRELY BY AN UNQUALIFIED UNDERGRADUATE WHO DOESN'T EVEN MINOR IN LITERATURE. "I" by Chairil Anwar When it's my time I'll have noone persuading me Not even you There shall be no sobs I am an untamed star Banished from its constellation Let the bullet penetrates through my skin Furious I lunged. Wounded. I ran Ran Ran til the pain subsides And I will care no more I want to live another thousand year. Hmmm....somehow it looks wrong. Oh well, there it is. Introduction to Indonesian sastra. Our brand of literature. Grinning Goat at 9/19/2004 05:31:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} I have nothing against gays...have I??? When I was in the Malay debate team in the leaf school, this malay guy was having a conversation with the cikgu. My friend: There's nothing wrong with girls wearing short skirts and skimpy clothes......what can be so wrong about it? Cikgu: Then let me ask you. If your sister wears short skirts, how would you feel? Will you marry a girl who dresses skimpily? My friend: erhh...no.... Cikgu: So it's alright when other people do it but not those people around you? Double standards. Other people can do it, just not those people associated to you. I always thought, if people want to screw up their lives, marrying someone of the same sex, well then go ahead and do it. I have nothing against that. But when I rephrase the question to :Will it be alright if my brother becomes queer? (GOD FORBID, SERIOUSLY....GOD FORBID...) Then I'll change my answer. I'll damn well change my answer. It's just disturbingly abnormal. So does this mean I have something against gays? By the way I have a lot of respect for this cikgu. She's the one who got me onboard the debate team. She had a lot of faith in me too, which did me good as a beginner before i moved on to english debate. And it's an experience debating with her. Ah it's just too bad she's not in leaf school anymore. It's their loss. Grinning Goat at 9/19/2004 04:34:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Nothing like a good news on one sunny Sunday My milk article made it in for the October issue of the Ridge. WOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!! Guess I don't have to sulk and publish it here then. =) Besides it won't be decent to publish it here before the real issue even comes out. Kind of spoils the moment. But I'll upload the article in October when the issue's making its rounds. Grab a copy of the Ridge people, grab a damn copy... By the way, Huiwen if you do read this, thanks again for the suggestion. I wanted to talk about this article written by one of the Outspoken writers in the September issue. Because I think it's brilliantly done. But that'll have to wait. I'm going out now. For some fresh air. Grinning Goat at 9/19/2004 03:29:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Saturday, September 18, 2004 Mid-sem break Mid-sem break's coming. Perhaps that's why I was so hyper last night. And most of my neighbours apparently shared the same sentiment because they were awake up til 4 in the morning. Today started of decently enough although we all skipped breakfast. So much for all that hey-let's-have-breakfast together last night. Neighbour: Don't worry I'll knock on your door at 8.30 R: Not knock, bang is the word And noone did wake up because at 8.30 I stuck my head out in the corridor to find all their doors closed. Okay, time to go back to sleep. In the evening, I went jogging with Wedy. Nothing heavy, just 2 rounds of the whole complex. It felt good after half a year without PE. And to actually do it because I want to, and not because my PE teacher is breathing down my neck or I'm obsessed to lose weight. Heh. Played some badminton. I'll show off my racket one of these days. It's fiery red. Awesome. No tennis for me. Just watching Kaka and Wedy had it out in the court. Playing tennis like it's badminton. Praying we didn't lose too many balls today. Like I said, the fence's way to low for that game. We had some guests today. Normal guests not those irritating ones. The other day we had these fellas coming to do project work with my sister, and all they do was eat. Ate like it was nobody's business. Ate when we didn't even offer them anything. Ate like we were a bloody restaurant. Hell, they even had the cheek to complain when we ran out of food and all we had was instant noodle. Holly crap, guests like that should be kicked out of the house. They had it coming. Ah well, mid-sem break's coming. I wouldn't complain too much. Do check out Sneak Peek for pictures I just uploaded of the TGIO. Grinning Goat at 9/18/2004 09:09:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} My place Yes, I'm a kid who's just been given candies/sweets/chocolates/(marshmalows???)/ all the toys in the world. IBM here I come. MHUAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay enough of this madness. I'm not exactly in the correct frame of mind. A bit hyper from the lack of sleep and all the excitement of playing gunbound FROM MY ROOM. It's a whole new experience I'm teling you. When it's not my turn to shoot, I'd drop by my neighbour's room. So in the middle of the conversation, I'd be like "akhh...is it my turn??" And I lost a couple of times because of all the running around. Okay, so I'm not behaving my age. But I think I've warned you about the prospect of me having the mentality of a seven year old. Block supper was on tonight on the rooftop. It was an experience. I had to admit, whoever cooked those stuff, they're good. And someone was playing jazz music. It was perfect. We just had to overlook the fact that people crowded on the table, refusing to part with it. I definitely AM starting to like it here. Grinning Goat at 9/18/2004 02:17:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Friday, September 17, 2004 Green melon (in Thai) I'm going to finally get my own laptop today, so my miserable days of hogging the com room's over. In the mean time though, I'm still stuck in this stupid library with this stupid girl beside me at the next PC who kept staring at me. WTH?? QUITE STARING YOU MORON. Do your stuff. Geez. Ah before I get sidetracked cursing the idiot starer... Usa was telling us about how she once worked under a boss who made it her point to use vulgarities in meetings. And while everybody kept their faces solemn, my tutor couldn't help snickering. Because apparently FUCK means melon in Thai. With the same exact pronounciation. And You means green. There you go. Fuck you. Green melon. So while the bos was ranting at the subordinates, Usa was busy counting melons. It's true how the language that we speak most when we were a kid sticks the most. I still slip in an occasional indonesian word unconsciously sometimes. It's just somewhat more embarassing when I did it during a presentation. It was like, woups, I didn't mean to give you all an indonesian language crash course.... Heh. I want to talk about this term I pick up today, it's called "Emotional LAbour". Let's start with this quote: "The flight attendant's smile is like her makeup; it is on her, not of her. The rules about how to feel and how to express feelings are set by management, with the goals of producing passenger contentment" Hochschild (1979) We have our own display rules. Generally: 1.Never look weak in front of a stranger (your basic self-defence mechanism) 2.The usual social norm. The problem with supressing emotion in pursuit of greater goals is that the longer you keep that up, the more you'll be numbed. A certain distant relative may die and the response you can come up with is "oh". That's sad. I prided myself in being rational and avoided all the emotional nonsense. (Except anger perhaps, that's one that's still very much in me). I wasn't particularly proud when my grandfather died and I didn't shed a single drop of tears. I wasn't even inclined to. Obliged perhaps, but not inclined. I didn't find it in me. Somehow us living in separate place for the past 10 years didn't seem like good enough reason to be a tearless (unfilial?) grandaughter. The general mindset is that being rational is always better than being emotional. That's how society grooms us. And most of the times, being rational involves supressing the emotions. It's ironic how society manages to numb us yet expect us to have a specific emotional response for a certain occasion. You're in a funeral. Cry, Goddamit! It gets scary when you confuse your own response to what society expects. Do you cry because you want to or because people expect you to? The line is kind of blurred at this time and age anyway. It's frightening the way people can switch their responses on and off. Perhaps that's why it's interesting to talk to hypocrites. (as long as you know the other, unpleasant half of the person). You can try pissing them of in front of a lot of people and watch them struggle to appear nonchalant. Oooohhhh the strain must be enough to take down a bridge... Refusal to conform to social expectation makes you a freak. A social misfit. An angry and bitter bitter person. Distant. But hey at least you stand your ground. Society can screw itself, because when you're right, you're right. Grinning Goat at 9/17/2004 01:09:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} A resident in training See, I was talking to this stranger. 10 minutes into the conversation, I just realised that I still didn't know her name. R: errhh....so what's your name anyway? Stranger: Elaine. You're Ross, right? (actually, she's better than that, she remembered the long version although perhaps she's not sure of the spelling. Nobody does except me) R: Erhh...yep. How do you know my name? My neighbour: Because we all took the effort to remember your name. (see, I can't really read her expression but I think I recognise subtle nuances when I see it) OUCH. Okay, so I don't memorize the name of the people living here. Okay, so I don't even know the name of the Block Head. And my neighbours on first, second, fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh floor. (You don't even need to ask about the people from other block) But what's the point of memorising names when in the end you won't even talk to them much? They're like those people you have on your msn you never really talk too. You know they're there. They know you're there, but you just don't talk to each other. What's the freaking point? Are they there so you know you can ask for their help should you need it? That'll be bogus. Having said all that, I am actually disturbed that I don't know many people's name. People who know my name. What comes round goes round they say, except that in this case it's short on MY end. I tried not to succumb to my self-defense mechanism by listing out reasons against memorizing (almost) stranger's names. But for now, that's about as much as I'm willing to admit. Grinning Goat at 9/17/2004 01:51:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Thursday, September 16, 2004 TGIO Okayyy today's THE DAY and I just have to have a backache. I was in the middle of brushing my teeth when voila, I couldn't freaking stand straight and limped on my way back to the room. Like someone stabbed me on my back. I had to sit in the chair for a while in the corridor (don't ask me what the chair was doing there okay? we had all sorts of weird chair positions here) and when my vietnamese neighbour was passing by, she was like, "Ross, why are you sitting there???". Like I was some moron. Oh and now I know why they had salon pass as free gifts in one of those orientation goodie bags. It's because they don't freaking work. My neighbour had this ointment that was quite good though. Grandma disease. Sheessshh. I thought it only attacks grandmas....The next time your grandma says she's having some back pain, don't ever take it lightly eh? It wasn't a pleasant journey to nurture your back back to health. USA was asking us this question: Is stereotype always disfunctional? Can it actually be good? I was stumped for a while. But after today, I realise being stereotyped may not be such a bad thing. See, I was sitting in the band room with my ever so bright attire/costume when Sherry said in a matter of fact way, "You obviously refuse to put on make-up?" It's settled then. No fight about how lack of make-up would make us look pale..blah..blah..blah....None of that bullshit. And my neighbour who asked "You're not going to put on make-up?" "nope" "natural is the way to go" "hell yes, you got that right" The whole crew was a freak show. Mismatched costumes. Bright colours. Tight 70's shirt and pants. Polka dots (holly crap). I was going with a bright green eye-sorish headband. Freak was in some cowboy hat (or was it a cowboy hat??). Ben was THE man though. He's putting on this flimsy leopard stripped open neck attire (somehow the word "shirt" just doesn't quite describe it). But the performance was awesome. It was fun fun fun. Surath was great, as usual. Freak did good too. And I didn't screw up Sweet Child O Mine (much). It's amazing how adrenaline rush can dull the pain. I was alright up there but the moment it all ended, the pain was there again. I guess it's a matter of focus. Stupid grandma disease. Heh. OH and I screwed up the rap. Hell. It all went bonkers. But what do we care? We all had our fun. The Rockers has this tradition to go to Fong Seng (whereever that is, I haven't quite figured out the place yet) after every TGIO (by the way, the theme this year is "Through the years") but since I have a freaking chem test tomorrow I haven't really studied for and my back wouldn't cooperate for any long walks, I opted to stay put. The good thing about staying in a hall is that I have mugging buddies. Hell, I think I'm starting to like this place. Grinning Goat at 9/16/2004 02:40:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Tuesday, September 14, 2004 The starkling reality of it all The E-Block's First Floor Open House is on today. First floor's for guys. I looked at their room and realised the starkling reality that my room resembles theirs. In all its THAT is what I called normal. No fancy titsy bitsy stuff like soft toys... R: Hey It's creepy how my room looks exactly like theirs... Sha(my neighbour): Hahaha....they've lived here for a long time but you just moved in... R: No..I don't think so..... I think my room's just gonna be like that regardless of my length of stay... And then there's this movie trailer screened into the door, about some korean shows where the lady gets blinded as she accidentally poured acid on her face. Well done. The director's amazing in its accuracy. The acid hits NOTHING but the eyes. The face isn't even scratched in the least bit. Very convincing. Very very convincing indeed. Ah yea I just realise there's actually a resident fellow in our block. And oh a bunch of people were cooing over a baby. Heh. I can never understand this. Look at the baby, MOVE ON. What's with clogging the bloddy corridor?? There's nothing to see. It's just a baby for goodness sake. Of course I didn't tell them this or they'd stare at me. Like it's a shocking revelation someone actually doesn't coo over babies. Oh well, I need to go for band practice. Heh. Grinning Goat at 9/14/2004 09:44:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Retro stuff's creeping me out The Hall band's performance will be this coming wednesday. Supposedly it's in celeberation of the intra-hall ball games (which I don't give a flying fuck about- pardon the language) so it's called TGIO- Thank God It's Over. OOOOooooooooooooooo....SUCH A BRILLIANT NAME..... Anyway, the ladies were busy picking retro-looking outfit in the band room yesterday. I am THANKFUL I live at this time and age. Look at those outfits.... Most look like there's a shortage of cloth in the world.....There are pajamas-looking ones.........Bright colours. Orange.....hmmmm not so bad.....red...okay....yellow.. I can live with it.......PINK...DAMITDAMMITDAMMITDAMMIT.............POLKA DOTS........ARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH........ What's with people in the past and POLKA DOTS????????? For the finale band, we're gonna sing Dancing Queen by ABBA. That's right, it's that whiny song (they said we need to end TGIO in a high note. I didn't count on ABBA being the high note when they said that) And since apparently Dancing Queen's too short a song and they actually took my suggestion of putting a rap inside it seriously, they decided to put one whole verse of rap inside Dancing Queen. That'll be freaking weird, I know. But hell, it'll be the one thing that'll save Dancing Queen from its whininess. (if there's such a word). A: You can just say whatever you want...the audience won't know what you're saying anyway.... R: We're assuming the crowd's stupid...you do realise that don't you? A: Yes.....please...please asume the crowd's stupid.... And assume that I will, because I think my rap's going to sound stupid should any smart people manage to catch it. But hell, I'll bloody make sure I'll say it fast enough even the smartest of the smarts won't be able to catch it. Heh. Grinning Goat at 9/14/2004 03:40:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Stop making such a big deal out of it Equality of status. That's bullshit. Look at how the people here worship seniors. I'm sorry I can't attend band practice because of senior's supper. Something went wrong, ask the seniorlah. Senior this...senior that..... Come on people, as much as this will disappoint you, seniors AREN'T GOD. Just like how juniors aren't underlings. Stop making such a bid deal out of seniority because seniority doesn't prove anything. It doesn't mean you're better, it certainly doesn't mean you're smarter. It simply means you start earlier. Is that so hard to comprehend? Yes, we have to respect the elders but I don't think someone older by a mere 2-3 years is much of an elder. If you want my respect and you know you're not much older than me, well then there's only one way to get it. Earn the damn thing. Don't be a sitting God while the the stupid juniors worship you. Don't succumb to this respect- the-seniors bullshit society bestows upon you. It's a bloody attempt at social engineering if you ask me. I think most people want to be worshipped. That's why they go all out bootlicking the seniors while they're juniors so they can look forward to getting their boots licked by the future juniors. This is sick. Bootlicking all over the damn place. PErhaps this is why I like the CAC band more than the hall band. The seniority bullshit is eating at me. With the CAC band, we're all equals. Rossli's great band leader. He can critisize people without offending them. He gives valuable inputs too. I think I'm improving under his guidance. As for the Hall Band, they won't give a damn as long as I sing in tune. But come on, surely singing's more than getting the right tune?? I think I should start a STOP THE SENIOR WORSHIPPING BULLSHIT SOCIETY (STSWBS). At the rate we're going though, I won't have that many members. Okay okay.....go ahead go ahead and bootlick your seniors, just don't come crawling to me when your future juniors don't worship you because they've been so taken by the brilliant ideology that STSWBW is promoting. Grinning Goat at 9/14/2004 03:20:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Monday, September 13, 2004 Phantom of the Okayyyy, as I'm writing this, I feel like throwing a chair to someone's face. The only thing that prevents me from doing it is that I'm not sure WHO to throw it to. There are two guys but who's the one humming that irritating indecipherable tunes??? I just realised that due to my high rate of disappearance, I've been dubbed The Phantom by my neighbours. R: Hey, this lady who lives beside me disappears more often. Why am I the phantom?? Am: Oh, she's a phantom too. LEt's just say you're the least phantom of the phantoms... R: ??????!!!!!!! Am: I wonder who can wake us up for breakfast tomorrow. I don't think I can get up R: Okay...let it be me. I volunteer myself....heh Am: Trying to get rid of your image as a phantom eh? R: Hell yes, I want to revert back to being "resident" Okay, some random events of the day: I went for the CAC band practice again today. I tried the falsetto that Ross was telling me to do the other day. What's Up was pretty much settled. Lina the other vocalist wanted to do This Love by Maroon Five- a song half the band has never listened to before. But it went alright. Ross was telling Nc to put in a solo in the middle, although there's none in the song originally. A jazzy blues, punk kind of solo. And it was great, I mean if Nc manages to pull it off, we'll sound better than Maroon Five. Probably. And as Lina was having her one on one singing coaching by Ross ( I had mine too. It was enlightening usually. Ross paid a lot of detail to techniques ) we messed around a little. Truthfully, I like the CAC band better than the hall band- for obvious reasons I guess. The guys wanted to play Sweet Child O Mine. Hahah! And by the time Ross came back, we're still in the middle of it. So Ross was like, "so...Ross you want this to be your next song?" and the drummer nodded (he wanted to see Dang in action) and the other guitarists nodded too. So Sweet Child O Mine it'll be. I'll be singing it for the Hall Band and CAC band. Woohoo! I can't seem to get enough of that song. Okay by some brilliant stroke of luck, I got to watch the last episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Hmmm if people asked me what's my favourite part in that episode, it'll have to be this: Phoebe: (calling Rachel to persuade her not to leave, for Ross' sake) RAchel, you must get off the plane... Rachel: But why?? Phoebe: Because Ross is......because..the plane's left flengy isn't working... Rachel: Honey, I'm sure everything is going to be fine. I gotta go now, okay...bye... Nosey passenger: Who's that? Rachel: Oh...my friend...she just has this feeling that the plane's left flengy isn't working...oh but don't worry she's wrong most of the times... Nosey passenger: YOUR fRIEND HAS A FEELING THAT THE PLANE'S LEFT FLENGY ISN'T WORKING??? I WANT TO GET OFF THIS PLANE (taking his luggage from the overhead compartment) FLight attendant: Sir....where do you want to go??? Nosey : I want to get off this plane!! Its left flengy isn't working... Flight attendant: what left flengy??? There's no left flengy... Nosey: Ohh....Goddddd....this plane doesn't even have a left flengy.... Flight attendant: Sir....Sir....calm down...CALM DOWN.... (everybody's leaving) Ah man, there won't be anymore of this. =( But I guess I can always count on cheapskate Channel 5 to do a re-run. HEh Grinning Goat at 9/13/2004 11:31:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Sunday, September 12, 2004 Cross-roads R: Should I tranfer to mass com? Heh Del: Isn't it a bit too late? R: Nah, year TWO would be too late Del: Gila loe. You're serious??? R: I have no idea. Heh. Do I make a better scientist or journalist? Del: You can be both. But I think you should be scientist. R: Why? Del: Because when you're a scientist and like to write articles, there'll be a channel for you. The reverse is quite hard. R: Hmmm true....very true... I've just submitted my article for the Ridge. Let's just see how it goes. 'Nothing stinks more than a pile of unpublished writing' But I guess, I'll always have you guys to read my article. Heh. Grinning Goat at 9/12/2004 02:26:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Saturday, September 11, 2004 customized fate My dad was reading one of those fortune-telling books. You know the kind that flooded Popular's book shelves everytime the chinese new year's (okay, it's over...so maybe it's not chinese new year. The mooncake festival then?) approaching. My sister was born either in the year of the oX or the rat. See, even my parents aren't sure. No, not because she's an adopted child. It's just that she was born very close to the Ox year. Or was she? erhhh..I'm not very sure myself. Anyway, I was looking over my dad's shoulder to discover, not surprisingly at all that I couldn't decipher the damn thing. (yes, it's in chinese) Hmmm so like a good daughter I asked him about my erh...my fortune for next year. Not so good I'm afraid. You wouldn't believe how they try to read your fortune rather specifically. Like for example, they say I might meet a couple of mishaps next year. I might be hospitalised sometime in November. Wow. Even I didn't know that. Made the whole thing sound rather ridiculous. I'll be hospitalised? Hahah. I'll check back with you my state of physical well-being sometime in November eh? On to Kaka's where the confusion came. Wedy: I think it's the Ox year. R: Heh. Really? Hmmm Wedy: Yep Dad: ok, let's see (flipping the book)...hmm....Next year isn't a good year to be Ox Wedy: Okayyyyy.....maybe it's the rat year then Dad: (flipping to the relevant page)....hmmm....the prediction's good. Wedy: So rat it is then? R: Hahahaha...hell yea, rat it is. Wedy: No way Kaka's born in the OX year. R: No way indeed. Grinning Goat at 9/11/2004 09:44:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Friday, September 10, 2004 Rock n Roll Name me a person - just one will do - who can keep still when someone's playing Rock n Roll with the volume turned up to the highest notch. Who? Tell me and I'll poke his eye. Grinning Goat at 9/10/2004 09:26:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Thursday, September 09, 2004 Fuckers These are what people have been telling me about the bombing: To protect the guilty and the eyes of my innocent innocent readers, I exercise full self-censorship. For a start, somebody changed her name to "STOP THE FUCKING BOMBING YOU BRAINLESS FAG" (Not me, I was merely following her footsteps, because I share the same sentiments.) And then there's " knp yg bikin2 bom gak ikutan kena bom aja biar mati semua sekaligus populasi **** ******* berkurang" Which roughly translates to "Why don't the bomb-makers die in the explosion as well, so we'll be rid of **** *******"" "I think those people are stupid. Like our country doesn't stand out as it is now. What the **** do they care, even if it's fellow countrymen they're killing" And proof of how we can be desensitised at the blink of an eye. Check out and see if this conversation makes you feel ashamed you share the same nationality as these bastards. No, I don't know them. This story's passed to me by someone else. "The australian embassy's been bombed," "whaaa..." "errhhh...what's with the lack of response. Aren't you pissed? Rupiah will go up" "Rupiah will? you mean US dollar will? If rupiah does, they can keep bombing the place" "The Australian embassy's bombed" "How many people die?" "That..I have no idea" "wait....you said australian embassy right, not the US?" "Yep" "Thank God" WTF I don't want to curse too much, because what I said won't make an ounce of a difference if taking down the perpetrators is a matter of political will. 8 dead, over 160 severely injured. Mostly pedestrians, and not the intended embassy staff. Hah. I hope they feel good about that. Killing people just to make a point. See how dangerous ideology can be? Some people actually believe mass murder can be a good thing. Oh hell, a personal conquest to be reckoned with. As much as I like to complain about this place, I have to take my hat off. The system works. The law enforced. I'm sick and tired. Grinning Goat at 9/09/2004 08:39:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Why we should all live in France Thursday morning. I was having my French tutorial as usual. The students were asking the Madame, what's the french name for a "free-thinker". "Athee" she said. Hmmmm....but isn't a free thinker different from an atheist, fundamentally speaking? "Everybody in France has a religion. They don't practise it...but they have a religion" "And they don't usually ask for religion in questionnaires in France, so when I first came to Singapore and was asked, I was like 'religion??? Owww.....I have a religion' " Isn't that reason enough to migrate? No assholes asking you to go to church/mass/prayer gathering/temple/whatnots. And I don't see why we don't adopt that system. All it does (asking for religions in a questionnaire) is emphasize our differences. All it's good for is probably for demographic mapping purposes. Besides, don't they always preach about unity in diversity and how religion/race doesn't matter in this democratic, meritocratic country? French have this laid back attitude too. Relax......Don't think too much.......she kept telling us. I think living in France will be good for my soul. God knows how horrible this place can be. Agreed? Grinning Goat at 9/09/2004 10:32:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Jamming JAmming almost everyday. I can get used to this. And uh there was a misunderstanding. I want to make peace. Life moves on,eh? Basist: What's the problem? R: I'm having difficulty with the transition from low to high Basist: Can you reach the highest key? R: yes I can, it's all the screaming...it takes guts to do it... That's true. It takes guts to improvise. I felt like I was screwing up a perfectly good song. It always happens. The more I want things to be perfect, the more I'll screw things up. Heh. I owe Guns n Roses an apology. Being a rock/punk/metal fan, Fael told me his (rather intense) dislike of anything pop. I asked him why. He said a lot of his friends who are really good guitar players can't get a recording because all the recording companies want is pop singers with the money and the looks yet without the talent. Well, that's pop for him. But hell, there's a ring of truth in it. Double Britney Spears' weight and add some scars on her face and noone'll listen to her. The reason pop has such a bad name is because of crappy singers like her. Those who make it big not because they're good (come on, don't even try to convince me Britney's worth listening to) or talented. But because they have the money and looks. Geez look at our Singapore IDol wannabes. And they're not even anywhere close to looking good. Heh. Or of course the alternative reason would be: audiences with crappy taste. Your pick. Either you have a bad taste or Britney can't sing. By the way, the other vocalist was this PAkistani guy and to put it simply, he can sing. I have to give it to him. He used to sing in this pub/club back home, and I can see why his audience loved him. He makes singapore-idol wanna bes look lackluster, uninteresting and tone-deaf. Not that they AREN'T in the first place. But come on, HOW IN THE NAME OF ST PETER CAN THEY THINK THEY'RE GOOD ENOUGH?? I mean look at this guy.....he's SUPPOSED to be in it and he isn't. Smart people know Singapore Idol's bullshit. There are better singers out there with more than double the talent. Because if I were to give a definition of heaven now, I'd say heaven is hitting the right pitch. After all, they paved the paradise to put on a Grinning Goat at 9/09/2004 01:19:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Wednesday, September 08, 2004 Guys and Food BLogger's been giving me trouble. I can't publish. So the moment it stops screwing itself, you guys will probably see a lot of posts published on the same day. Heh Today's Block E Third Floor's OPen House Day. It's this tradition our block has to open our rooms and have people come over to go and have a look. Much like kids playing guests. Visitor: Can I go see your room? R: (My cover's blown. I can't pretend I don't live in this floor anymore. Heh) Erhh........no........it was really really........you don't want to see it... Sha (my neighbour): What she means by not fit for the eyes is its bleakness.... Actually...not exactly....but I shall not elaborate. Anyway, the guys rushed over the moment they heard there's gonna be pizza. And I mean RUSHED. "Excuse me, Ross..." "Excuse me...." You get the idea. Guys and food are like kids and toys, ants and sugars, whiny girls and barbie dolls (No, I never touched that thing). My neighbours were in charge of preparing the pizza. And when we came together with this bunch of guys from the band (we came straight from the band room), my neighbour Rachel was munching away. Then he said "what's with eating for yourself thing?" "I'm just trying to see if it's cooked...." And everybody crowded around the table, snatching ...... One of my neighbours commented " The pizza doesn't even have the chance to be tranferred to the plate "......which was followed by this comment: " I think I just ate the aluminium foil" Serve you right for being such a greedy pig. Heh. And one of my neighbours actually had her bed turned 180 degrees! How's that eh? And during the block meeting, it was brought up that moving the furnitures is actually illegal. (Blah, they ban everything) Block head: (I don't mean it to sound like that but he was the head of the block) MAybe before the spot check you move your bed back to its original position.... My neighbour: But...it's SPOT check...and as the name suggests...I'm not supposed to know... BLock head: ... Ah but the ladies DID crowd around the table too, munching away. So maybe the title should be Guys, girls and food. Heh Grinning Goat at 9/08/2004 11:28:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} BURN BURN BURN YOU ALL I fell asleep during the first hour of the lecture. And I couldn't stop laughing on the second. Heh. See, Po was telling me about this guy in her lab session who burnt his hair. "I'm sorry, he WHAT???" "Burnt his hair" "HAHAHAHAHHHA" I'm sorry but.....HUEEHAHAHAHEUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA......... "Shhhhhssss Ross...!!!" "HUAHAHAHAHAHHAHA..." And then Po's lab partner told her, "Now, we know how hospice smells like" There. The punch line. I couldn't stop laughing. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Which emphasizes what I said yesterday about our future scientists. Now you can all go somewhere so I can laugh. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA Grinning Goat at 9/08/2004 11:17:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} I was so bored, waiting for the lectures I did this test. Heh. Two more hours to kill now....Suggestions anyone?  Seer The ULTIMATE personality test brought to you by Quizilla Grinning Goat at 9/08/2004 03:07:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Who are you? I've always wanted to write this but haven't got around to doing it. Some people have so many people in their msn lists, ONE MSN isn't enough. They need TWO. Which you can open at the same time if you only know how. Possible people on your lists: 1. Your friends whom you can have real conversations with. By this I don't mean "What's your CCA" Hell, that was reserved for stupid conversations during orientations. I think orientations are there to torture people. Only fakes love orientation. Because they smile all the time and idiots all around us who make up more than half the populations just love a (constantly) smiling person. Ah what a friendly stranger/friend!!! But don't you wonder how a person can be in a perpetual state of happiness? He's probably pissed and cursed you inwardly while you stupidly believe how angelic he is. 2. Your classmates/CCA mates/former schoolmates/neighbours They are not real people. They're there to serve a function. To remind you when's the next class outing/re-union which you may or may not be interested in attending. When's the next tests (when you're too screwed up in your planning you don't know shit about anything. "Use an organiser" "A What??" "An organiser" "Never heard of it. What makes you think I need it??"). When and where is the badminton match going to be held, afterwhich you just wish they'd shut the hell up because you can't stand issuing another round of apology. I'm sorry I can't make it for the badminton match. I'm sorry I can't play volleyball. I'm sorry I'm not as enthusiastic as you all expect me to be about this whole intra-block sports competition. I'm sorry I don't give a fuck that our block wins/loses. I'm sorry all I seemed to be interested in was this story about some guy who fell of a lorry and broke his toe bone (I thought that only happens to woman in high heels??)I'm sorry I pretended I didn't hear you when you banged on my door every morning for the run to the sports hall. I mean, I might as well right? The alternative would be me showing my black black face to the world and pissing everybody off with my sour sour mood because all I wanted to do was have a good sleep in my warm warm(no air-conditioner, remember? I write this with a sense of reality kicking in,not for the dramatic effect) bed. 3. People you met on the net. Hmmm...hey you sound like some cool chap with real interests and real opinions....let's keep in touch eh dude? So our conversation can get on beyond this small smelly chatroom. And after a couple of weeks, "Hey, WHO ARE YOU??" And you start to wonder how in the world this stranger gets to your lists. You ended up ignoring him half the time and he ended up ignoring you half the time. 4. The window closers. This bunch of people appear online just for the sake of appearing online. You start talking to them, they give a short mono-syllabic reply. You let the conversation hang for a while (working out a topic that requires a discussion and not mono-syllabic answers. "DO you like music?" "Yes" Now try this "How do you think Jimmy Hendrix differs from Randy Rhoads in terms of style?") and they'll close your window. If you say something, they'll give you a response because your window pops up again in their screen. IF you don't, they'll be happy to ignore you. You live a peaceful state of co-existence while ignoring one another. In fact, you'd wonder if they'd treat your window popping up on their screens as another irritating pop up commercial. 5. Siblings/parents/relatives/irritating aunts and uncles Thank God I only have KK and Wedy on my lists. No irritating uncles and aunties. They make a decent, honest and sincere conversation impossible because you simply can't tell them how much you loathe them. You can't tell your uncle how you think as a man, he shouldn't constantly be bowing down to his wife, have some back bone for goodness sake, you're the breadwinner. Starve your pretty or not-so-pretty wife and she'll come back crawling for food. You can't tell them to piss off because they'll start spreading rumours about how so and so's daughter/son's been very rude and has no manner whatsoever, not realising of course that they're the sole targets of the daughter/son's shitty treatment (because they so deserve it) But fortunately some irritating aunties and uncles have limited knowledge. You can shove MSN messenger up their bum and they'll just stare at it with utter ignorance. 6. Church friends. Thank God I have none, because I don't go to the church in the first place. Besides, I can imagine the sort of conversation you might get. Why do you think God will forgive our sin? Owwwwww God, not THIS... And of course their constant insistence that you go to their mass/church/gathering/prayer session/whatever events they can come up with you wouldn't bat an eye to say NO to. 7. People you met on the net that you think are decent and are capable of having a real conversation. This includes my gunbound friends. Although some of them are window closers and we're perfectly happy to ignore each other. 8. Inane talkers Totally incapable of having real conversations. They're just there because they're supposed to be your friend. Or perhaps they ARE capable of having a conversation except that you won't get too enthusiastic listening to them. When you're talking to them, YOU'd be the window closer. God bless your soul. 9. Sign ignorers. This can mean two things. a) Whatever status sign they put will have nothing whatsoever to do with whatever they're doing. They're watching tv and they put "Out for lunch". or they're staring at their comp, watching some porn while their sign says "busy" or "away" b) People who bug you when you put "busy" (or in some desperate measure, "away") and ARE actually really busy. You either get pissed having to try to talk to them, leaving your mounting assignment in a state of complete disarray or risk having them think you're a snob for ignoring them completely. So, really when you think about it, all you have to do is remove all the inane-talkers, who-are-you-and-why-are-you-on-my-lists strangers, church friends, irritating uncles and aunts, irritating sign-ignorers and functional former/present classmates/schoolmates/neighbours and you can have all the space in the world. TWO MSN would be too much then. Don't overdo it I say. Grinning Goat at 9/08/2004 01:41:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} Don't mind me Going back to the com lab instead of sleeping. I'm just hyped-up after the band practice. SWEET CHILD O MINE. I absolutely absolutely LOVEEEE that song. I can shout my voice hoarse and still think it's a marvellous marvellous song. Try to convince me otherwise and I'll treat you to Spinelli if you succeed. (I owe Po a treat too. ME and my big mouth. Haha. Oh well, it's probably worth it) Somehow it doesn't seem fair to describe the song. It'll be too technical. Whatever I say, it won't do the song justice. Listen to it is all I have to say. Listen to it and tell me if it's the greatest song of the century. Grinning Goat at 9/08/2004 02:24:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Tuesday, September 07, 2004 Our future Scientists You know how I said that not everybody gets to be CEO? Apparently not everybody is cut out to be scientists too. If you see how the lab was this afternoon, you shall be convinced. The number of breakages.....flooding (amazingly, NOT contributed by me)....people carrying health-hazards like they were soft toys.... STOP STROLLING LIKE YOU'RE WALKING IN THE SUN! IT'S DICHLOROMETHANE YOU'RE CARRYING....Geez. See that label? It's not a picture of a pirate for goodness sake, it spells carcinogenic. Heh. Handling hazardous materials in a lab with a bunch of bozos is probably on top of the list of HOW people get cancer. Of course there's the constant flooding of the common bench where we collected our Dichloromethane. It was stored inside this container. All you have to do is pull up the pump and let it down slowly to release the Dichloromethane. Some people actually FORGOT TO PLACE A CONTAINER BELOW THE OPENING....A substanstial number of them...Until the lab ran out of supply of dichloromethane....Heh. Were we great or what? What the hell...I thought that's the first thing that you do, placing your container below? Well, who am I to blame anyone eh? After all I was the flood-the-lab queen who almost drowned TJ. My point is this. Surely you've noticed how the government focuses a lot on science and not so much on art? Okay, so the Esplanade's erected...some art festivals were conducted...but...it doesn't change the mindset of the people does it? Ask any parents and most of them would prefer that their children go to the science stream for reason none other than that it's the science stream. They're dead set. It doesn't even cross their minds that perhaps their kids' passion lies in art. Ah what is passion in the grander scheme of things? I understand that perhaps this is because unlike art, science tends to give more concrete results. Advancement in technology, etc. But is this the kind of scientists we're hoping to get? A walking biohazard if you ask me, if they can't even handle dichloromethane. I'd rather stick to art anytime then. Grinning Goat at 9/07/2004 07:01:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} What dot??? I was talking to my friend from Brazil. Pardon his english. Fael: Hey Make me a quest ok R: What quest? Fael: Thank you. R: (clicking on the eye-browed raised smiley) Huh?? I don't understand Fael: my keyboard doesn' have it -----> ??? so i copy and clue hahahaha R: What dot? Fael: this dot ?????? interrogative dot R: What iunterrogative dot? "." This?? Fael: THIS DOT -----> ? R: Oh. A question mark? Hahaha Fael: Yes,it is. R: Hahahahaha. How come you don't have them? Fael: I don't know. I have always to copy and clue this fucking dot Grinning Goat at 9/07/2004 01:22:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Taking back my words I want to take back some of the words I've said. This rarely happens, so do pay attention. The Tedjo guy who was in my band? He was an asshole. I didn't take that back. But he ISN'T now, I've realised(at least until further notice). See the difference? And with that, I shall stop referring to him as the Tedjo guy. I mean deep down Tedjo's probably a good teacher despite the fact that not even half the class listened to him, a caring teacher and all that (I wouldn't know would I? I never did pay attention) but I've used his name enough so that it carries a negative connotation somehow. Yep, so he's NC, not the Tedjo guy. People DO change. Sometimes for the better. (like, for example the fact that his hair isn't as slick as before. The fleas probably all slipped off his hair with the amount of gel/hair cream that he used back then, you could see them dangling precariously, their little feet kicking high in the air.) Next. I said Freak is a better guitar player than Dang. NOT TRUE. Dang's definitely more natural. And looking at him playing, I realise that it IS possible to not have that perverse look when you're playing/soloing. Freak has that look. Heh. And not to mention, Dang has modesty that Freak doesn't. And Dang can sing! No, seriously. I can TELL when someone's out of pitch. And my standard's high. (to tell you the truth none of the contestants of the Singapore Idol even deserve to be there. What's there to watch?) Hmm... I want to do the background vocal for that one song. We were jamming again this evening. And since Ross (yes, that was how the guy who was the leader of the band was called! Uncanny coincidence. Heh) couldn't make it in time. We were having some fun, after we did the compulsory What's Up song of course. We made our own version of What's up (since Ross wasn't there to -probably- sound his disapproval - or perhaps- approval) The hyped-up, more rock-ish version. The jazzy, blues-ish version. The dangdut-like ('O God...) version. We messed up the song but hell did it sound good. And then we played Rockin in the free world. Dang wanted to try out the drums. The current basist couldn't wait to get out of his roles to do rhythm. I didn't know the lyrics of the song. So I played bass for that song. They were loud enoud enough to drown any mistakes I made (which shouldn't be that many because it's only in THREE keys. Heh) Oh well. Anyway, I took some pictures out of sheer boredom today during lectures. Do check out Sneak Peek. =) And I tried a tongue twister today. In French. I think I almost lost my tongue. Heh Grinning Goat at 9/07/2004 01:11:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Sunday, September 05, 2004 Appetite for Destruction While trying to do our tutorials... Po: If she's dead (Buika's friends)she'll have her museums to look at.... R: Yep. Po: And us? what do we have? R: A bloody newman projections...heh... Po: I wish I have that fierce passion. R: Me too. I don't want to die looking at a bloody newman projections....blah... Po: I think we should go back to doing the questions... R: (sigh) Grinning Goat at 9/05/2004 02:02:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} I'm too nice I love sarcasm. THAT'S RIGHT BIG GUY. You have a problem with that? Being sarcastic is probably the way to do it, short of losing temper and becoming rude altogether. People can't take it. Members expect the leader to be all nice. Oh hell, EVERYBODY here expect people around them to be nice to them. Imagine:(this is for illustration purposes okay. It's all a figment of my fertile imagination) A: What did you say again? Huh? B: He's a bit slow on the receiving end eh? C: Don't say that....it's not a nice thing to say.... B: What? what did I say? You'd think people at that age can handle being dissed. Something a primary school kid like to say: (unedited) You're mean. I don't friend you! Well, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I DO????? Don't think too highly of yourself. I'm sure there are better people out there I can befriend. Like someone who can find wittier retorts than "I don't want to be your friend". But of course a primary school kid is either too thick to come up with such a fine argument or too much of a chicken shit to do it and risk having the whole school population (who are most probably of the same breed) shunning him. (Most) Singaporeans can't handle having people dissing them. Well maybe the bunch of you could migrate to somewhere harsher eh? Have a taste of the real world. Sometimes I wonder if leading a sheltered life is good for your soul. Looks to me it makes people dumber and whinier than ever. It's a HARSH HARSH WORLD out there pal. FACE IT. PEOPLE CAN'T BE NICE TO YOU ALL THE TIME. UTOPIA DOESN'T EXIST. Even if it does, what makes you think you're gonna be part of it? Utopians don't whine about stupid things. They don't whine when someone says something so mild you'd wonder about the possibility of it injuring some asshole's feelings. Because if Utopians DO, CAN UTOPIA EXIST AT ALL??? People just can't take the truth sometimes. READ with me: ...we are apt to want our version of the truth, rather than the truth itself Just because you're nice to people, DOESN'T MEAN PEOPLE WILL BE NICE TO YOU. DIMWIT. DON'T EXPECT EQUAL MEASURE IN RETURN. Life isn't a bloody bank. And even bank cheats you sometimes. DON'T BE SO BLOODY STUPID. YOUR BRAIN ISN'T THERE FOR NOTHING. UTILISE IT BOY, OR IT'LL SHRINK AND GET SMALLER THAN IT ALREADY IS. As time goes by I realise that this "band leader" title is one empty post. One giant hoax. "Maybe I should quit" "And give him the satisfaction of having you leave the band?" Ah. Sigh. Grinning Goat at 9/05/2004 04:37:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Guilty as charged I'm sleep deprived. But I guess there's no excuse for this. I fell asleep as I was praying last night. How the hell did that happen????? I woke up, staring at my bed, wondering why the hell did I sleep in a sitting position... Forgive me O Holly One. There shall be no repeat of this. Heh. Grinning Goat at 9/05/2004 03:22:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Saturday, September 04, 2004 Is passion enough ? It was great going out with the guys again. It gives me some sort of a break. Je seems to be doing good which is a relief. Looks better than ever. Something struck me today. A friend of Buika who's studying in London joined us for a while this afternoon. Let's just say i wish passion is contagious. Well, apparently it's not. But I can sense it. It's staring back at me. She doesn't just like what she does. She LOVES it. Probably to the point of being obsessed. You won't mind working like a cow then. But is passion alone enough to sustain you? The world won't give way to you and your passion. A lot of people opt to do things they rather not do under a different circumstance. It's all about being pragmatic. And can your passion actually be something you're not particularly good at? That'll be most unfortunate. I always envy people who know what they want to do in life and go ahead and get it. No second thoughts. Like there's only one road to walk on. Like no other option is available. It makes life so much simpler. I wish I have that fierce passion. It may not be enough. But it'll do. Grinning Goat at 9/04/2004 10:16:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} The Brutal Honesty USA made us do this short personality test in class this morning. Hmmm...and apparently, according to this highly sophisticated measuring instrument, I'm the kind of person who prefers to ask questions than answer. That's right. Answer me, don't ask me questions. Oh hell, you know what my gunbound screen name is. (The one that kept misleading the Spanish gamers) I am flawed. I know I am. Which is why it's hard for me to accept when people are trying to tell me something but for fear of offending me, soften their words. It's an insult. It makes me look like this wuss who can't handle the truth. You have something to say, say it upfront. Make do without all the euphemism. It's not working very well anyway. I can take the brutal honesty. Sure, I may hate your guts for it but I'd appreciate the feedback. Heh. Besides aren't we all actors and actresses? What's creating another role? This almighty fella who's risking a bash in the head for offending the formidable lady. Heh. We're all in this giant version of Hollywood. Now you know why video killed the radio stars. Grinning Goat at 9/04/2004 01:55:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} I'm not naturally sarcastic. Congratulate me. "The reason why I felt you were frustrated was because your emails and smses were worded in a rather sarcastic fashion. And that's after consulting a few people. However, the vibe I get from speaking with you in person isn't like that. You didn't come across as a naturally sarcastic or cynical person," After consulting a few people!!! I should brush up my skill. I thought that was pretty straightforward. Heh. "erhh good to hear I'm not naturally sarcastic" " Yeah so I hope that perhaps in future correspondences you could phrase your sentences differently to avoid coming across as sarcastic because I know you aren't" He hasn't seen me in my best moments. Heh. " Well I WAS being sarcastic to tell you the truth. It wasn't an accident" "Being sarcastic won't really help or solve the problems...that's from past experience. So far I think you're doing a fine job as a band leader so don't let this get you down," Don't let this get you down. Ah. The father of all sad consolation....Not a very original and irritating one at that. "True but I wouldn't be able to solve the problem anyway since I hadn't meet anyone and uh I can take criticism ppl don't have to soften their words" " You've got a point there...again I guess this comes with time after you get to know ppl better" "Yep" Grinning Goat at 9/04/2004 01:08:00 AM pontificated | {buzzz out} Friday, September 03, 2004 Actors and actresses " As social actors, we present a different self to different people in various situations" I.Goffman I find that(ironically perhaps) comforting. It means one thing: we're not fakes. When we're kind to some people and harsh to another, we're not being hypocrites. We're not fakes. It's easier to accept when some fancy sociologist put that into words and theorizes everything. Somehow it puts a distance between the jugde and the the judged. Nah, we're not suffering from some mental instability...see what thay guy said about us playing a different role depending on the context? Well there you go.... Not my fault. But that's true isn't it? We tend to behave the way we want others to view us. Sometimes things get confused along the way. Is this me? or is this what the society makes me? Of course there's also the issue of the real me and the ideal me, which may not coincide. Quest to achieve that ideal self may prove to be more destructive than we make it out to be. I don't think self-control and restraints are inate. It takes conditioning. When you were a seven year old and someone stole your playdoh, you boxed the asshole in the face. When you were seventeen and someone stole your stereo, you threatened tom file a police report. When you're twenty and someone stole your stereo, you sued the bastard. See? It takes some social conditioning. Which brings me back to the same point. Is personality something inate? If it is, the good news would be, noone can blame you for whatever you do. God makes me this way. I just have to break your ribs....knock out some of your teeth .....I can't help it...it's a genetic predisposition.........Not my fault. Assume you agree with Goffman, you'll think of "resentment" at a whole new level. You don't actually hate someone for himself. But rather for putting that front. That role. That assholic role. Perhaps our resentment stems from our inability to comprehend. Why would anyone want to put that (assholic) facade? When something it's beyond you it's always easier to blame other people. Not my fault. Or maybe, Goffman came up with that theory in an attempt to analyse his own self-doubt. That's a fine line to walk. Whether you're looking for reasons or excuses. Well this is a bit heavy I guess. If you're bored you can always take the easy way out. Skip this entry. Hope it starts you thinking, it certainly does me. Grinning Goat at 9/03/2004 01:14:00 PM pontificated | {buzzz out} |
 "Stupid is as stupid does" Forrest Gump
Archieves for the-nothing to dos
SNEAK PEEK |
